Of Course She Did...

As I did my usual crawl across the headlines this morning, I saw that Casey Anthony refused a visitation with her mother, Cindy, on Friday morning.

Of course she did.

Are you kidding me? Can you imagine how afraid Casey is to face her mother? How uncomfortable that would be?

It could go one of two ways, or a mixture of the two. Cindy could go in with all guns blazing, "You know you did something to cause harm to Caylee/you've destroyed our family/who do you think you are/how dare you accuse George and Lee of the unspeakable," etc. and let Casey really have it, one last time, because I will be surprised if there is any more contact once Casey is released.

Or, Cindy could really mess with her and be compassionate. "We love you any way. We don't love what you did, we don't love the lying, but we're family and can work it out..." What would that do to Casey!? A fin of guilt might actually break through her soul's murky, liquid surface.

She can't afford to face either an angry Cindy or a loving Cindy. She is too afraid.

Casey has single handedly ticked off a good portion of the country. I've known bad-check-passers, liars, druggies, thieves and people who are poor at the art of parenting. I've worked with hundreds of people over the years and have had lots of friends from all different kinds of backgrounds. I even had a good friend - actually, one of my close friends from high school - who innocently got caught up in something shady but then lied to a police detective about it (we had a falling out about that, actually, and it ended our friendship). She was not a bad person...just young and dumb and scared - and it wasn't life or death or anything. Forgivable. Stuff happens. Life happens. People make bad choices and I think most folks are rational and can see the good through the bad and give folks a second chance...maybe even more.

But NO ONE can forgive someone who doesn't report his or her child dead or missing for a month. No one can forgive someone who creates layer after layer of unbelievable story to cover up the facts. No one can forgive someone who parties for days straight instead of telling the truth and beginning the grieving process.

That is what everyone is angry about...the intentional quality of all of this. And Casey's general lack of regard, punctuated by smiles and buoyancy in the courtroom.

No matter how your child died, how could you ever smile again? Or wink? Or plead innocence? Or party? You'd move on as best you could, but not the evening after the child's death, not the month after, and you surely wouldn't be so stoic or joyful in the courtroom...would you?

Chicago

Steinvic and I had a great time this week in Chicago. We left Sunday afternoon and returned Wednesday night. While my feet are still tender from all the walking we did while we were in the Windy City, and I still haven't caught up on sleep, it was all worth it and we had a fantastic time.

I'll give you the highlights here, and later, I'll post about how we got there.

We stayed at The Seneca. I'd call this hotel a well-kept secret. It's an older hotel, but is conveniently located next to everything, and is very tidy and nicely maintained. The staff is friendly and our room was VERY affordable, especially considering we were there on a holiday weekend and that the Taste of Chicago was also going on. Our suite was huge - king sized bed, giant closets (with a safe...very handy), a living room, dining area and full kitchen. The television sets were a little outdated, but they had LOTS of channels to choose from, including 3 HBO stations (and who goes to Chicago to watch television anyway?!) We met a nice fellow on the sun roof who told us about how he and his wife rented an apartment there three days a week, several months out of the year, and I could see them being pretty comfortable if their apartment was like our suite...everything you needed was right there. We also ate in the cafe there and it was good: small, casual, good variety on their home-cookin' style menu for such a small restaurant (it's also where we heard the unfortunate verdict in the Casey Anthony trial). There are also more upscale restaurants in the hotel, but we didn't go that route.

We found Dublin's Bar and Grill on our first night and I am not sure if we were starving or if they didn't have the best bites around. We each had a bowl of Manhattan clam chowder and shared an appetizer - lobster ravioli - and we were very pleased. (I can't seem to get through to their website, but it's on State Street if you wanna go!)

We spent lots of time at Navy Pier...we always do! A favorite spot to have drinks or grab a bite is Harry Caray's. We walk and walk, to the pier from wherever we're staying, along the pier to look at the water and watch the boats come in and go out. We actually took a water taxi from the pier to Soldier Field, where the U2 concert was held, and that is the way to travel for sure!

The concert was AWESOME and they played and played and played. I'm not sure if they were making up for the delayed show (originally planned for last summer, but Bono broke his back in Germany and many tour dates were postponed) or what, but that concert seemed a good bit longer than the other two we've seen on this 360 tour. Bono wore his leather jacket the entire time, and I asked Steinvic if he thought that Bono had air conditioning piped into his jacket because it was freaking hot out, and I can only imagine that the stage lights made it even hotter for the band. Anyway, it was kind of cool for us because this tour was the same tour when we got engaged back in 2009...so it was sweet and sentimental to hear Beautiful Day and remember how Steinvic proposed.

Leaving the concert was something else altogether...the opposite of sweet! Imagine some 60,000 buzzed and/or tired people all leaving the concert at the same time on foot, lumbering through the awkward paths that security had set up for them. It's like...11:30 at night, dark, and we're faaaaar away from our hotel. We probably walked a couple of miles before wising up and crossing the street, hailing a cab originally headed in the opposite direction. Our cabby was kind, but wanted to talk politics and I wasn't feeling it at that point in the evening! But we politely chatted and prayed our hotel would appear soon...it did and we fell into bed after 12:30. Big day!

Everyone always wants to eat at Gino's or Giordano's (or both) for deep dish pizza when they visit Chicago. Nothing wrong with that...you should try it if you haven't! But you will wait and wait to be seated. Like not 45 minutes...we're talking hours at peak times. Some feel it is worth the wait. Since we've eaten at both places several times on previous visits, we weren't feeling the wait. We were just kind of wandering around and came upon Pizano's. Steinvic wondered if they had deep dish pizza and I whipped out my phone and checked online and indeed, they did. We decided to check it out...and if you're ever in Chicago, you should, too. DELICIOUS pizza. Our server boasted that his 92-year-old mother walked a mile-and-a-half, three days a week, to come make their dough. Could be a legend, could be fact, but no matter what, the food and service were awesome. And no wait! Looked like more local folks than tourists to me. We will be back!

A favorite bar we enjoy while we're in town is Pippin's. They don't have a website, but it's on Rush Street. We like it because it's not pretentious, they have lots of good beer and booze there, and during happy hour, it's darned affordable (Absolute Citron and soda for me and a beer for Steinvic cost $7, which is nearly unheard of here in Ohio, much less in touristy Chicago.) The folks who work there are pretty nice, too, and we've always ended up meeting some nice couple or chatting with other like-minded visitors who want something low key.

If you need to get out of the heat (or cold, depending on when you visit), there is a lovely AMC theater right down the street from Navy Pier. We saw Bridesmaids and chuckled a lot. See it if you haven't! You can also bowl at the Lucky Strike nestled into the same complex, but we didn't because we felt it was kind of pricey (came out to $40 for us to bowl and rent shoes, which seemed a little high, and we weren't that interested in bowling anyway...) but if you're into bowling, you might want to check it out.

In a nutshell, that was our whirlwind tour of Chicago. It was wonderful! (I will post a few photos later...) We returned to a very wriggly, happy puppy and as great of a time as we had, it feels great to be home.

Guilty

It doesn't matter to me what verdict the jury for Casey Anthony returned.

She is guilty.

In this country, the prosecution has to work really hard to prove somebody's guilt. I thought they did a solid job of providing evidence and connecting the dots. Their theory made sense: Casey wanted to party, she had a child that prevented the lifestyle she wanted from coming easily, and the lies she told and the means she used to make that lifestyle possible (leaving her with just about anyone and/or drugging her) would shortly be coming to an end because Caylee was beginning to talk.

The jury didn't agree.

We will never know what Casey did all day while she was away from home, at a job that never existed. We won't know why Cindy and George didn't ask more questions or expect more from Casey. We won't learn about Caylee's last moments of life. We won't get to find out just what made Casey snap that day, or if she really believes the lies she tells.

But what I do know is, Casey is now friendless and without a family. I think she will have a very tough time enjoying her freedom because who could truly love or trust her? She screwed over her friends, threw her family under the bus and damaged their character, and even hurt a complete stranger (go get her, Zenaida...) by accusing her of the unthinkable.

And, in my opinion, took the life of a beautiful, innocent child.

As her defense team gathered around her, hugging her and crying, I wondered if these people would now be her friends and family. Would you let her babysit your kids?

I admit, when the verdict was read, I got teary. I love the truth. And I can't stand it when the truth doesn't prevail. And I love justice. I really hoped for justice for Caylee. Not the death penalty, but jail time. Instead, someone got away with murder, and Thursday, that person will likely become a free -and wealthy- person who enjoys all the same liberties as you and I do. Fair?

My Apologies, Countess...

I always admit when I'm wrong, and I usually apologize for my mistakes. So, Countess de Lusseps of The Real Housewives of New York City, I'm sorry.

I am sorry because when you decided a year ago that you could sing and released your first single, "Money Can't Buy You Class," I said that it was the worst professionally released song I'd heard in a long time.

I was wrong. The worst professionally released song I've heard in a long time is your NEW song, "Chic C'est La Vie."

The RHW shows used to be my guilty, mindless pleasure, but I don't even watch them any longer because I feel embarrassed as I'm watching. I also find myself thinking "Who cares?!" as the ladies think of ways to one-up each other or insult each other. That doesn't mean that I won't read recaps on Pretty on the Outside (awesome blogger) or on Bravotv.com because I am admitedly, at times, a nosey bitch when it comes to people who put there lives out there on reality shows. (But not the Kardashians. I have zero interest in any of them and don't understand the appeal. I do like when SNL spoofs them, though.)

So, I was nosily rooting around on Bravo (can usually glean everything I want to know just by reading the titles of the blogs) and found that The Countess - even though she got super-panned for the first song - took it upon herself to release another song that is plenty worse.

If you don't believe me, listen here.

She apparently filmed a video, too, and it can't possibly suck more than her first one, but I don't think it's out yet.

I'm not a fabulous singer, and even if I had millions of dollars, I would still know that my singing should be limited to the car or karaoke when I'm drunk. Unless I got some serious vocal training and assistance for a long time and got lots of good feedback from professionals and peers, I would not be making an album.

I'll give the Countess props for not auto-tuning the crap out of her voice, but at the same time, I think the song would have been a lot better if she had!

She has a lovely, mellow, alto speaking voice, but it does not translate into a lovely, mellow sing-speaking voice. (She is kind of talk-singing here, folks...) She is hard on some words, has no rhythm, and doesn't even sound like she's having fun because she is trying too hard.

You know what she sounds like? Exactly like a pretentious, middle-aged, rich, white woman who...wait a minute...

Happenings

This weekend, we're celebrating my Mom's 70th birthday. SEVENTY! Holy buckets...it's just so hard to believe. And we're also celebrating my step-Dad's retirement! He has been teaching for such a very long time and finally decided to give himself a break.

I don't think of my folks as old or anything...they are pretty capable and in good shape. I do see some tell tale signs, though, that they're getting on (besides 70th birthdays and retirements, which are clear signals!) I was a passenger while my Mom drove last weekend and it was obvious to me that her skills are deteriorating. And, I sometimes see them less willing to try new things, like the grill or the cordless phone we bought them, because it's new and different and they're a little intimidated. They like things simple...they share one cell phone between them.

At the same time, I see their sense of adventure is still in tact. They go on little drives (about an hour) to the Farmer's Market, but then they go on big drives, too: a few years ago, they drove all the way to Mt. Rushmore (from Ohio!) armed only with a general plan, their luggage, funds and GPS.

My folks may be getting older, but I don't think they are winding down by any means.

My sister and her family will come into town this weekend to celebrate these occasions and I know that will make her very happy and proud. My step-Dad will be touched. I know it will be a lovely time.

Until then, planning, gifts, cleaning and organizing (so much still needs to be done and not enough time to do it all!) and looking forward to celebrating their lives.

Competent

If you've been watching the Casey Anthony trial, you probably have an opinion by now as to whether or not she is guilty. I've tried to watch the summaries in the evening and keep an open mind, only because I wanted to view the evidence presented to the jury to imagine what they were thinking. But, that is pretty hard to do when I've read (like so many have) just about everything that was released into State's evidence since day one, so I feel like I have the inside scoop that he jury lacks. (I still have such a hard time imagining that they found an impartial jury who hadn't heard much about the case...there is SO much out there.)

Some of the big evening debates on HLN cover whether or not Casey sustained sexual abuse by her father and brother, whether or not Caylee could have gotten into the pool herself, whether or not her parents are lying for her, and whether or not Roy Kronk had something more to do with the case than "just" finding Caylee's remains.

I feel like those points are moot. We can debate those all day long and likely, we'll never know the truth.

The truth is what stands out so clearly to me: a mother who loves her baby does not go on a date to rent movies the night that her child dies, whether accidentally drowned or otherwise. She doesn't enter a "hot body" contest four days later. She doesn't live it up and get tattoos and steal money and commit fraud. She doesn't make up elaborate lies about where the child is, or invent mysterious people to frame her stories.

Some people would look at that summary and say that Casey had lost it. I look at it and say that she was going for broke, doing whatever the heck she wanted to do, and certainly wasn't thinking about the future.

I know that people are quick to bust out the "mentally ill" card, but really? I know there are all kinds of menal illness...my mother was a clinician for over 40 years, and I've also known my fair share of imbalanced people. Heck, I've felt a little off balance at times. But to me, if you know the difference between right and wrong...if you know that something is wrong enough to hide it...you aren't crazy. You may be a selfish, sick piece of garbage, but you aren't crazy. And if you say you are, it's an insult to every person who is struggling with mental illness and ISN'T out partying the day after her child "disappears."

Three psychologists evaluated Casey this weekend and all came to the same conclusion: she is competent. I was not surprised that they found Casey competent, but I did think it was interesting that Britney Spears is still considered to be incompetent to testify in court, and she's been under conservatorship for years. But I still think she is better "behaved" than Casey and appears to be far less devious. Hmm.

I dont' feel that the Anthony's are especially disfunctional...from what I've seen, George and Cindy's only failure is raising a daughter who has no accountability. They certainly could not have ever imagined that a lack of discipline (and a ton of love) could have lead to this. They may have had glimpses that something was a little off with Casey...the lying, the instances where elements of her stories just didn't add up... But I think it's actually pretty common to try to overlook those red flags in the family and hope that everything will shake out. It's a phase. Things will get better. That kind of thing. They were not a disfunctional family. They were functioning. They are still trying to function, even after this incredible loss, even after this unbelieveable amount of stress.

They are now doing what humans do: adapting, surviving, trying.

Only a few days left for the Defense. What do you think will happen?

CLICK!

Pup is now 15 weeks old. He has learned some key things like, where things are, how to go up and down the stairs, how to coax us into giving him baby carrots and most of the time, where his pee pad is located (and how to use it).

He kills the dog toys we buy him (and I repair for him) with gusto...our backs turned for a minute, only to find that he has stuffing all over and a limp rag of a toy remaining between his paws.

He got his last Parvo immunization on Saturday, and we've started taking him outside, which he is still trying to decide if he likes or not.

And...last night, for the first time since the first week we got him, he barked. Only once. And it was because the washing machine in the basement was squeaking loudly, as it had a full load of towels in it. We were encouraging his curiousity a little...he ran to the top of the basement steps and peered into the darkness, listening to the squeaking, and we kept saying, "What's that?!" And he barked. And then ran to the safe shade of my exercise bike, where I was perched.

And we received our Karen Pryor Clicker Training Kit for Puppies last night. Within two, short, four minute sessions, he was sitting consistently. Will he remember tonight? We'll find out soon!

He is growing and growing...good dog...