Catching Up With You

Part of the reason I'm not posting here with the delicious regularity I was previously posting is that I got a warning type note at work. Could have been for the professional association blog I administrate, but also could have been from here. Which means that I can't access this blog from work, from fear of being found out...or fired. So, thanks for being patient while I try to work computer time into personal time... (shouldn't be a challenge, but somehow, it is!)

Things are going fine here. I had lunch with J and her precious ones this week and she immediately said that she could see a difference in my face. I call this, "losing my moon face." It was one of the things I've hated most about the condition I now know is excess estrogen. In addition, since going off the Pill, I don't feel anxious, don't feel depressed, have only had one spell of pain (previously, the endometriosis gave me pain about four of seven days a week), haven't taken a single prescription strength naproxen, haven't had a headache, and...embarassingly (but I'm putting it all out here) a fine layer of white "fuzzy face" on my jawline (thank G*d I'm blonde), which I was in constant maintenance to eliminate, has completely disappeared.

So, no pain, no nutso feelings, no fat face and no micro beard. Sounds like going off the Pill is a winning decision. So far, so good. I am taking a supplement that is all vegetable derived and is supposed to help detoxify the body of excess estrogen. I plan to keep taking it for at least these first three months...the approximation of time it takes to get normal after extended Pill use.

The challenge now will be to find a doctor who isn't prescription happy, who won't get weirded out by my desire to actively manage and research my health (though trust me...I'm not going to become a fanatic. I just feel smarter now...) and who will help me navigate my way through pre menopause.

I know this post is long and winding through the fields of estrogen, and I promise that this isn't what this blog will become. But it's heavy on my mind. I feel a responsibility to inform my obviously naive OBGYN to the downfalls of prescribing estrogen heavy birth control pills to patients with stage four endometriosis. I had surgery for that, dammit, and no wonder the symptoms came back...the very thing I had surgery for is fueled by estrogen. In a word, duh.

So...I guess...three weeks out, I'm better than I've been in a long time. I don't think it's all in my head. I think that I was headed for a bad spot in my wellness...the weight was packing on, the energy was zapped, the migraines frequent. I was becoming less and less me, and more and more the list of symptoms you hear at the end of a commercial.

I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're doing, you feel the best you can. If you don't, empower yourself. I'm by no means a know it all on this business...there are legitimate reasons to take the Pill! And I am not anti medicine. But I am pro knowledge, and that is a pretty comfortable place to be...

Father's Day 2010

Well, here we are and it's Father's Day...

Last night, Steinvic's son and girlfriend arrived to celebrate Father's Day with a little cookout, movies, and family time. Young Man gave his father a new wallet. It was a sweet and thoughtful gift. I got a chance to spend more time with girlfriend, which is good...you'll understand when your son/stepson is old enough to have a significant other. You'll - appropriately - want to know as much as you can about this person and you'll be hopeful that person is worthy of your boy.

This lovely girl is all that and more. Not only is it kind of cool that her birthday a day past mine, she is extremely gracious and consciencous...all while being of the have fun mindset. And she cares a lot for Young Man. Even with the concern that she might not be The One...we really like her. She is a little like me at that age. (Which I don't think is a bad thing.)

Young Man and Girlfriend had to leave early this morning, as she had to work. But wow...a really nice evening.

We went to my Mom's house yesterday to give my step Dad a gift... A "wine and roses" bush for their yard. They are very into their house and into planting stuff. They took us for a ride in their new car and it was just so good to have family time.

I thanked Steinvic this evening for our family. He informed me that I've always had a family. Even though he is right, my family hasn't been effortless or easy. I feel like it's been a bonus to be a part of his world, and a witness to him being a great dad. Steinvic is an amazing father. He has taught me a great deal through his parenting of Young Man. Had things been different, we would probably have beautiful, well-adjusted children of our own. Instead, I get to live vicariously and enjoy Young Man as a step child. I hope that, if it is what Young Man wants, Steinvic and I will have grandchildren one day.

So...if any fathers read here, Happy Father's Day. And for those of you who read who aren't daddies, a happy day to you, too. Honor that person who made you possible. It's a special day. As Frank Abignale said, anyone can be a father...it takes a special man to be a daddy.

Blame It On The Corn...

Steinvic sent this to me at work today, and I could not stop giggling. Another reason to be proud to be an Ohioan...

Police: Drunk Mom Poops Her Pants During Traffic Stop

ELYRIA, Ohio -- It was a sobering moment for an Elyria mother when police arrested her on a DUI charge last Friday afternoon.

Officers said 46-year-old Wendy Phillips was driving drunk with her 4-year-old daughter in the backseat.

Elyria police stopped Phillips about a block away from the police station Friday, June 4.

She pulled out in front of a cruiser and drove off the side of the road, almost hitting a stop sign police said.

Officers said she threw out a bottle as officers approached her vehicle. Police said it was a vodka bottle. Oddly enough, the bottle broke in the Courthouse driveway.

Officers said Phillips was unable to stand safely on her own when pulled over.

Apparently, being pulled over literally scared the crap out of Phillips.

"I pooped my pants. I ate too much corn," she told officers.

Phillips was charged with DUI, child endangering and reasonable control.

Phillips has a previous drunk driving charge as well.

Well now. I like my corn - and my vodka - as much as the next girl. But, seriously? I'm glad they caught her and that the child is safe. If you go to the link, read the comments, too...priceless!
You can also catch a glimpse of this beauty...

Home Again & Prophetic Dreams

So, I planned to post more on vacation than I did, but what can I say? The Internet connection was a little funky at times and we were busy.

But, we had a great time, got lots of sun, had a nice overnight in Nashville on the way home, and this morning, we went back to work. Young Man headed back to Columbus last evening and started a new job this morning: landscaping! I hope it wasn't too tough of a day for him...

Right now, Steinvic is at a Reds game with our friend, and I'm working on getting the house back in order.

I had some strange dreams on vacation, and before you think I've lost my marbles, let me say that I'm not trying to say I'm psychic, that I believe in ghosts, that I can communicate with the dead, that I'm special or anything like that.

But my Grandma visited me three times in my sleep on vacation. The third dream was a message for Young Man: watch out for spiders while you're landscaping. She showed me doorways where spiders were lurking and was specific in telling me that he needed to be careful. Okay...

The second and first dream, though, contained messages for me. And the message was clear: "Get off the pill! It's killing you!" In the first dream, she was wringing her hands with a dishcloth, just like I'd seen her do a million times in her comfortable kitchen.

In the second dream, she was more emphatic and aggitated. She was holding this very white baby, who I've seen her hold in my dreams before...the baby looks like he is made of china...he is so white and smooth. Somehow, I know his name is Samuel. In this dream, he is screaming and she is rocking and bouncing him, and she is telling me again, "Stop taking the pill! It's killing you! Do you hear me?"

It was so real, I woke with this lump in my throat. I got online and found all this information about the particular brand I've been taking, and about the symptoms of having excess estrogen, and about how the pill isn't a good solution for people who have endometriosis, even though it's commonly prescribed as a "fix."

I read the list of symptoms and there wasn't one that I haven't experienced. I felt this rush of heat to my face, and thought...how could I not have figured this out before? I've had four different doctors and none of them...no one listened to my symptoms and concluded that maybe the pill was hurting and not helping? Every single one of them ratched up the prescription, giving me stronger and stronger brands, never thinking that they were making me worse?

I went on the pill in my late teens and it was supposed to help with cramps. And aside from a few months, I've been on it ever since. I'll be 39 this year. No one ever said, "Hey...you've been on this almost 20 years. Lets give your body a break!" or "You know weight gain, depression, anxiety, splotchy skin, rashes, abnormalities in appetite, pain, swelling, bloating and fatigue are all signs of excessive estrogen, and since the pill contains estrogen, it's not the best solution for you?"

I know the Internet is full of false information, but this is info from reliable sites. I'm no dummy...I'm careful in my research.

So, I did something kinda crazy. I quit taking it. I didn't call my doctor first, I didn't wait and see, I just did what I felt urgently I needed to do.

This morning, two days off, I was really nauseous and dizzy. Hot and then cold. No appetite today. I'm better now and hungry, but not ravenous...not like usually, where I feel these waves of starvation and shakiness.

I know that coming off mega doses of hormones might suck, but you know what really sucks? The suspicion that I've wasted a lot of years feeling bad...and that I put my trust into doctors who didn't deserve it.

Probably more personal info in this post than you're used to getting from me, but maybe there is a lesson learned in this for someone else. I'll let you know how it goes!

This is Perfect

We are here! I'm sitting here on our second real day at the beach, wearing my swim suits and coordinating shorts and hat (because that is how I roll) waiting for Steinvic & Son to wake up...

So far, all has been perfect! We arrived on Sunday afternoon, checked in and unloaded the car.

And, we walked down to the beach...it was still there, majestic and constant, and it missed me...I could tell.

We drove up to Alvin's Island to buy Young Man swim trunks and flip flops (oops - forgot) and a hat for me (oops - forgot) and then to the grocery store for supplies and to the booze store for even more supplies. Really, for a tourist trap, it wasn't too bad - hat, flip flops, trunks, water ball, three coozies and a free beach bag - $50.

As a reward for all our hard work, we went to McQuire's - a place that quickly became one of Steinvic's and my favorite spots when we were here years ago. It was as fun and good and interesting as the last time we were there, and of course, it's fun to show Young Man all the things we liked so much.

Yesterday, we woke, scarfed breakfast and hit the beach. Then the pool. Then out for a bit and lots of laziness, basketball, and chilling in between.

And now, I'm ready to do it all again. (If the boys ever wake up!)

Photos soon...just haven't taken as many pics as I thought I would! But the week is still young...