Conspiracy Theory - Graphite Spray and Pumpernickel Stix

Why I am not totally stressed out, I have no idea, but I am as cool as a cucumber despite my crazy evening.

It started out innocently enough...Steinvic needed Sugar In the Raw in packets and plasticwear for work, and he wanted graphite spray to shoot into our locks since we're going to have bad weather this week.

I got through working before he did, so I called him at the office and said, "Want me to just stop so you don't have to?" His company's e-mail had been down part of the day and I imagined he'd have to stay late. "If you don't mind stopping...or I can stop," he said. But I wanted to make life easier and figured I could get everything he needed, plus sourdough bread and pumpernickel sticks at one place close to home: Meijer.

I pulled in, enjoying the sounds of my awesome iPod touch (amazing wedding gift from Steinvic) and clip clopped up to the entrance, remembering that last year, Meijer carried a Nutmeg Spice spray that I've been coveting since last year and figured I could get again this year. Wrong! Discontinued. Me and my boots clip clopped on over to the automotive department.

I wandered through the aisles. No graphite spray. I loitered in the outer aisles, hoping to see a clerk. Nada. Picked up the courtesy phone. "I don't think we carry it, but I'll send someone over." Nope...they don't carry it, the super duper nice lady told me. But maybe Lowe's.

I bought the plasticwear and sourdough bread - noting that they didn't have Pepperidge Farms Pumpernickel Sticks and thinking WTH - and checked those off the list.

Lowe's is across the (very busy) street. No problemo, I thought. In fact, a tiny Sears Hardware is also in the same complex, and I know they're struggling, so I figured I'd try there, first, and Lowe's second, stopping in Aldi's in between for the sugar in packets.

Sears Hardware does not have graphite.

Neither does Lowe's.

And Aldi's does not carry sugar packets at all, including Sugar in the Raw, Steinvic's favorite. Nor do they carry pumpernickel sticks.

So, I headed on up our main drag, seeking an automotive shop, figuring they would have the spray. Advance Auto Parts had graphite spray - yeah! I kidded the clerks, "Yay! I will be allowed in the house tonight!" He said, "Will your husband have a glass of bubbly waiting for you?" I said, "I know my husband...after this trek, he'll have a drink waiting for me."

I went to Kroger. Sugar in the Raw? Check. Pepperidge Farms Pumpernickel Sticks? No! They had Snyders, Pumpernickel and Onion, but I can do without the onion dust, thanks. A quick check to Pepperidge Farms' site shows that I'm S.O.L....)

I got home and sure enough...Steinvic right there, at the door, grateful, icy cold Whipped Cream flavored vodka + club soda on ice waiting for me, and soup thawing in the microwave.

Life is good. We've got supplies. But what the heck, Pepperidge Farms?!

p.s. I wanted the pumpernickel sticks because they're awesome and I'd made the double batch of spinach dip this weekend...pumpernickel sticks wouldda rocked with that! And yes, D was very appreciative of our efforts...he ate a ton of the bread and dip when we saw him on Saturday...