A Christmas Tale

Here, we see a small penguin from my friends in front of roses from Steinvic...

Once upon a time, in a city not so far away from here (though it feels like a million miles away, or that it never happened at all), lived a groovy chick who found herself in a bad situation. It seemed that a horrible monster had taken over her castle and was slowly but surely destroying everything within it.

The groovy chick thought carefully and one day, with the help of her very brave parents, quickly packed everything she could and began to move away while the monster was out of the castle.

She packed her clothes, gathered some personal belongings and – at the last minute, as encouraged by her parents – brought along a very special, small, grey and black kitty (who was quite grateful to be escaping with the groovy chick.)

However, in her haste, the groovy chick could not take a lot of her most precious belongings. You see, there was no time…if the monster had returned to the castle during her escape, the brave parents, special kitty and the groovy chick ALL would have been in serious trouble.

So some things had to stay. Most of those things she didn’t care about because she imagined some day, she would buy things like furniture and artwork and dishes again. But other things…those she would grow to miss.

Her childhood Christmas ornaments – the ones she’d carefully made so long ago that her mother had saved for her until she had a home of her own – remained tucked carefully away in the upstairs crawlspace. The table runner, cookie jar and Christmas dishes from her only aunt stayed packed in tissue, stacked lovingly in plastic bins (she really loved her aunt, and cherished those matching decorations.) She left her bike. She left her Beatles scrapbook. She left.

She moved with her kitty to a new home. They bought a small tree. They bought some glittery things from the dollar store to make their home cheerful that first Holiday. It was sparse, but sentimental…and that became more important than anything.

A handsome Prince came into the picture, and over time, brought them love, happiness and some special decorations to help the cause. Years passed and he came to stay for good and had some of his own Christmas decorations to share.

And then, one fine Christmas weekday, the groovy chick met her dear friend and her dear friend’s lovely children for lunch. And the groovy chick was given MANY Holiday treats by the friend and children. So many beautiful, special, fun and handmade Christmas decorations that the chick thought her heart might burst with joy…and that her arm might fall off under the weight of the packages on her way to her car! The decorations would merge with those she’d begun collecting once again, and would make her home look and smell like the Holidays.

And as she drove away from the luncheon, she thought to herself, “Too much.” Her friend said she remembered how the groovy chick lost all of her ornaments long ago. And knowing that her friend cared made the groovy chick…well, some icicles dripped just a little on her face as she walked to the car. And she realized, this is how you really escape the monsters…by making happy memories with the people you care the most about. And she knew that all of her Christmases would be full of goodness from now on.

And the brave parents, handsome Prince, dear friend, lovely kids and groovy chick all lived their very blessed lives, happily ever after.

Never Ending Friending

I am such a dork...look at this post title. Yeah, I kind of rolled my eyes at the title of this post right along with you because I hate when people make up verbs like "friending." Also, I'm not on My Space, Facebook or any of that stuff. I have this blog - this quiet, sleepy little anonymous place on the Internet - and that is about it. But I was feeling rhymey, so there you go - dorky title for a post.

What is on my mind is...when you have a friend, do you get offended when that person doesn't reciprocate your friendship?

Let me clarify the question - when I do something nice for a friend, it isn't because I expect something in return. In general, I don't expect a lot of others. It's not that I'm bitter or cranky...it's more that I'm 39 years old, I've lived a lot of life, I've known lots of people and I read the news. There are bursts of kindness and kinships in the world, but there are also a lot of sucktards out there who make it tough to keep having hope for the goodness of others. I know some AMAZING people and I feel fortunate for that. But there are a lot of selfish bastards out there who cause a girl to keep her guard up.

Still, if you have a long-term friendship with someone, isn't it fair to assume that they will at least appreciate the friendship and gestures, and not take you for granted?

In fact, while I'm not big on ragging people out behind their back, it's safe for me to vent here because she doesn't even read this blog. I once told her about it, offered to send her a link to it and she said, "I am on a computer all day...I don't have time to read one more thing." So, it's more than safe to assume that she'll never read this...and even if she did, it's how I feel, so I'd be okay with it. (By the way, she doesn't have time to read anything, but she IS on Facebook and a bunch of other social networking sites.)

We invited her to stand up for us at our wedding ceremony and understood that it could be tough for her to get here (she lives about 6 hours away), but she insisted it wouldn't be a problem to do it, and even swore she'd be at our reception.

Then, she revised her plans. She thought she could do the ceremony but not the reception because she didn't have enough vacation days.

(However, soon after saying that, she took several days of vacation to go visit a friend who has not been so loyal to her. Granted, it was because her friend's grandmother suddenly died, but where did these mysterious extra days off come from? More importantly, I tried not to be offended or hurt that when my Grandma died last summer - the Grandma that she always wanted to visit when she came to town and who she sent cards and flowers to - not only did she not come to support me, but only texted or e-mailed during that time...not one phone call for a full month when I really, really needed support.)

Steinvic offered to pay for a hotel room for her and also researched an amazingly inexpensive airfare that he offered to split with her (we'd each pay $70) to cut down on the time she'd need to miss work.

Her response? "I am too stressed at work to even think about it right now." Not thank you. Not, "That's generous...let me see what I can do as soon as I get my calendar together." Nothing.

It's been a week since we offered and she hasn't brought it up. I've gotten myself so pissed about it that when she e-mails with her "Hi! How are you!? What's going on this weekend?" I can't even reply. I don't want to say anything but," What the hell is your problem and how could you be so ungrateful?"

I'm no Bridezilla. I don't expect her to drop everything for us, throw me a shower, make an extra trip here to help me hot glue bows to something or party down with me wearing some tiara with a veil tacked to it. But she hasn't even asked what my dress looks like and that kind of hurts my feelings. Am I a sensitive litte baby or what? I hate that this bothers me so much.

But, if I'm honest, I regret our decision to ask her to stand with us because I feel like that is an honor for a forever friend and right now, I don't feel like she's going to be that to me or to us.

From an ettiquite perspective, I know I could politely call her and say that our plans have changed and that while we no longer need her to take the time off work for our ceremony, we sure hope she'll come to the celebration a few weeks later.

But that seems mean to me.

I don't know what to do...I don't have the energy to hash it out with her, but maybe I'll have to do it. Part of me thinks she should know how I feel and the other thinks I just need to suck it up.

For the moment, I'm just simmering on it. And feeling like a fool for counting on her in the first place.

Weekend and Neighbor Update

What an awesome time we had with Em this weekend! Yesterday, Steinvic and I reluctantly came home from our wonderful, long weekend in St. Louis...our livers were not so reluctant! Em and her friend, Ay, showed us all over town, and we had a fantastic stay.

The International Tap House is every beer lover's dream. They've got bottled beers from just about every country imaginable and they also have quite a few draught beers to choose from. Our server, Kate, loved her job and it showed. She brought us samples to try and made great suggestions based on what we liked. I was totally impressed with this place!

We ate at some great restaurants while we were there, too. Espinos is outstanding, so if you're willing to venture to Chesterfield for the I-TAP and you like Mexican, be sure to stop by...it's just across the street! (And ask for Rhonda...)

We also went to a Cardinal's game, Em's treat. After tooling around Laclede's Landing and grabbing a bite at the Morgan's Street Brewery, we headed over for some pre-game drinks at Patty O's. We were headed through the purse-check gates, getting our tickets scanned, when suddenly, instead of a "ding!" for entry, we got a "dong!" as in, "you ain't gettin' in." The horrified look on Em's face as she realized that we had Friday night tickets instead of Saturday night tickets is one that I have never seen before and hope to never see again! She was so upset. Fortunately, she headed to the ticket window, where a very kind soul could somehow tell that we hadn't scanned the tickets the night before and so, even thought the game was sold out, she gave us standing room only tickets, which suited us just fine... After the game, we hit Al Hrabowski's, and then took a loooooooooooooooong train ride home...

Ay recommended Blueberry Hill in University City for our last outing. All I can say is, go. The atmosphere is amazing, the food is great, the beer is cold and the hundreds of photos on the wall of the owner next to everyone from Chaka Khan to Joan Jett to David Byrne to Bob Dylan is thoroughly impressive. Go! Quickly! Enjoy!

We also played Ladderjacks and Washers and drank and cooked out and played with Em and Ay's puppies. If it sounds like all we did this weekend was drink, eat, and have a great time with awesome people, I've described it accurately. It's good to be back, but Steinvic and I had a fantastic time!

On the neighbor tip, I finally did talk to the cops and the HOA on Thursday. I asked the Police about the outcome of their stop by on Wednesday night and she said, "Oh, they saw what you described, but the other entrances were fine so he left." Uh...okay...that makes me feel much more safe...not! The HOA was much more supportive. While they can't help that the unit next door is probably always going to be rental, they will work with me to enforce that the outside is neat and safe. And, if we want to begin filing formal complaints if they rent to rowdy, uncaring folks again, we can do that and hire a lawyer and work on getting them evicted. I am still struggling with that as this is our home, and not just a rental to us, but at least we came home to seeing a new front door over there, and new locks, and they kind of secured the busted basement window. So...I'm relaxing about it for now. Just keeping my eyes open...

That's it! Hope you all had a great weekend, too!

Another Short Week...and other stuff

Happy Monday and Happy June, y'all! After a glorious and wonderful weekend with Steinvic and his awesome son, I'm back at it, getting my act together and working away.

Why working so hard? Well, because we're taking days off on Friday and Monday and heading to St. Louis to see our very dear and wonderful friend, Em. Em is awesome. We've been friends for let's see...about eight years now. She and Steinvic get along famously and that makes me happy. She's going through a bit of a rough spot right now, so our timing turns out to be spot on, because our girl could use a visit from people who love her, as well as an opportunity to pull on her finest Party Pants and blow off some steam. So, that's just what we're gonna do. So...that's this weekend. (It's only Monday, and I'm already drooling over the weekend...where is my dedication today?!)

What else...OH! I am getting my hair chopped tomorrow. I have postponed this appointment like...three times now. Partially because I didn't know what I wanted to do, and partially because other stuff came up during those weeks, but Steinvic helped me by finding some photos of shorter cuts that I like, and I think I'm finally ready to do it. I've had short hair before, but it's been about five years. I could only be so fortunate to look as fab as Helen does with her new 'do... hers isn't exactly short, but it looks amazing! So...wish me luck.

Finally, I have been wanting to post a profile on my high school reunion site for a while now. But, because I'm private, I've hesitated. To be more specific, there is someone out there who I simply don't like knowing much about me and my life. But...I thought about it this last week and I decided, screw him. To keep myself from doing something I want to do is to allow him to still have a hand in my life, and he doesn't. I've worked very, very hard to be independent and to move past the horrifyingly ugly disaster that was once my "marriage" and I've done a great job of that. So, dammit, I posted. I haven't submitted a "now" photo, and what I did say about myself was friendly and also reasonably vague, but at least I'm out there. The nice thing is that there is a "send this person a message" button that doesn't reveal your e-mail address, but allows people to send you a hello if they like. That way, those who want to get in touch, can. So, it's a small yet bold move for me, and I feel good about it.

So, that's that! I hope you're ready for a glorious June...

Memories of Memorial Day

Wonderful weekend! I hope yours was, too. Steinvic got home (best part of the weekend!) and suprised me with a bottle of Finlandia - so sweet of him! - and we went out for a bit on Friday to our local. We slept in and lounged on Saturday, and decided we needed to watch Goodfellas and have Italian that evening - great idea! We saw friends on Sunday at our local, and after a good friend of ours came over to cook out and chill for a bit. Monday was a day of just relaxing...excellent!

Earlier on Sunday, we did go to the Taste of Cincinnati. We hadn't been for a few years. This year, it was along Fifth Street, by Fountain Square and I have to say...don't like it. Being near the Square is always nice. But the one, long, stream of slow walkers - and even stoppers - down the center of the street was frustrating. Slow walkers, stoppers and - bless them - stroller pushers should all go up on the sidewalks. That way, they can take their time and not block the road for the normal walkers and fast walkers.

But that aside, we had fun. We always have fun! But here is where you might think we're insane - we didn't eat anything. No, really. We did have some drinks, but we were pretty hot and had a good breakfast so...we just didn't see anything that called out to us. Eventually, we ducked into Rock Bottom Brewery for a "real drink" (there was no vodka to be found at the Taste this year) for me and a real ladies room, as opposed to the portalets (which actually turned out to be 100x nicer than the loo at RBB). We shared an appetizer there, so...we did eat at the Taste but not at the Taste.

I wish that Steinvic had been to the Taste when it was still as I remember...my Dad took me a number of times when I was a kid. Spacious, lots and lots of music, very non-commercial, tiny portions for $1 or $2...that was key as you could try lots of different things. Now, it's like crazy busy and giant portions, higher cost. It's still cool, because...hey, when else can you walk around downtown Cincinnati with a beer! And we love going downtown. So...we'll for sure be back...we're sure his son would dig it. And hey, next time, you should come along...