We had a great Holiday. Steinvic and I celebrated on Christmas Eve – just us. We had cocktails at our local, a fabulous cheese & cracker and homemade soup feast at home, and then exchanged gifts and fell asleep on the couch during “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
We were lazy on Christmas Day until time to go to my folks, and Young Man and Girlfriend met us there. One of my (distant by logistics only) older cousins (she’s English, and 80 going on 50-something) was also there, and her love of music and sparkly personality kept the kids smiling. Young Man and my Mom bonded over their love for jazz records and made a date to get together to compare and share vinyl soon.
The kids, Steinvic and I all headed home and had our own Christmas there, sharing stories and joking in the kitchen while I made appetizers for the day after celebration at Steinvic’s sister’s home. Suddenly, we realized it was 1 a.m. and that would have been fine, save for the kids needing to get up and head for Columbus REALLY early (6 a.m.!) so everyone was off to bed.
I woke up early to make strong coffee in travel mugs and pack up some blueberry muffins for the kids' long, dark commute home, then slept a wee bit more and then we were up to get ready and drive to Columbus. A full house – all siblings and their kids – gathered around big, beautiful tables for an Italian feast, which was fantastic. Then lots of drinking and visiting and finally sleep.
Then back home yesterday…and we’re worn out, and both back to work today. I’ve managed to get some kind of goofy sore throat, watery eyes funk, probably from all the running around I’ve been doing. Seems like my body has a cut off for how long I am permitted to burn the candle at both ends, and then BOOM – hello, cold! Just need to shake it before next week…we’re headed out West for a belated honeymoon!
It’s time to load up on the B12, B6 and Vitamin C…and relax!
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Christmas Tale
Here, we see a small penguin from my friends in front of roses from Steinvic...
Once upon a time, in a city not so far away from here (though it feels like a million miles away, or that it never happened at all), lived a groovy chick who found herself in a bad situation. It seemed that a horrible monster had taken over her castle and was slowly but surely destroying everything within it.
The groovy chick thought carefully and one day, with the help of her very brave parents, quickly packed everything she could and began to move away while the monster was out of the castle.
She packed her clothes, gathered some personal belongings and – at the last minute, as encouraged by her parents – brought along a very special, small, grey and black kitty (who was quite grateful to be escaping with the groovy chick.)
However, in her haste, the groovy chick could not take a lot of her most precious belongings. You see, there was no time…if the monster had returned to the castle during her escape, the brave parents, special kitty and the groovy chick ALL would have been in serious trouble.
So some things had to stay. Most of those things she didn’t care about because she imagined some day, she would buy things like furniture and artwork and dishes again. But other things…those she would grow to miss.
Her childhood Christmas ornaments – the ones she’d carefully made so long ago that her mother had saved for her until she had a home of her own – remained tucked carefully away in the upstairs crawlspace. The table runner, cookie jar and Christmas dishes from her only aunt stayed packed in tissue, stacked lovingly in plastic bins (she really loved her aunt, and cherished those matching decorations.) She left her bike. She left her Beatles scrapbook. She left.
She moved with her kitty to a new home. They bought a small tree. They bought some glittery things from the dollar store to make their home cheerful that first Holiday. It was sparse, but sentimental…and that became more important than anything.
A handsome Prince came into the picture, and over time, brought them love, happiness and some special decorations to help the cause. Years passed and he came to stay for good and had some of his own Christmas decorations to share.
And then, one fine Christmas weekday, the groovy chick met her dear friend and her dear friend’s lovely children for lunch. And the groovy chick was given MANY Holiday treats by the friend and children. So many beautiful, special, fun and handmade Christmas decorations that the chick thought her heart might burst with joy…and that her arm might fall off under the weight of the packages on her way to her car! The decorations would merge with those she’d begun collecting once again, and would make her home look and smell like the Holidays.
And as she drove away from the luncheon, she thought to herself, “Too much.” Her friend said she remembered how the groovy chick lost all of her ornaments long ago. And knowing that her friend cared made the groovy chick…well, some icicles dripped just a little on her face as she walked to the car. And she realized, this is how you really escape the monsters…by making happy memories with the people you care the most about. And she knew that all of her Christmases would be full of goodness from now on.
And the brave parents, handsome Prince, dear friend, lovely kids and groovy chick all lived their very blessed lives, happily ever after.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Is It Really Inclusive?
Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld, where Elaine and Jerry and George decide that instead of saying “G*d bless you!” when someone sneezed, they would instead say, “You are soooo good looking!”?
It’s a great episode (aren’t they all?) and it’s also a nice reminder that what some of us find comforting, others are offended by.
But when is being considerate taking things too far? And at the same time, when is being offended an excuse to be hyper sensitive and to just have something to gripe about?
Christmas seems to bring out the sensitivity in all of us. I was raised Unitarian, and while I don’t really consider myself a Unitarian now (Belief-O-Matic says I’m a Quaker…go figure), one nice thing I took from that upbringing was a respect for other religions. I’m pretty darn tolerant, unless someone is cramming their beliefs – whatever they may be – down my gullet, and then I become a bit of a B.
In college, there was a very tight group of students who attended a nearby church and they were out to recruit as many members as possible. While skipping class and sunning myself on the lawn behind McMicken, my sunshine was suddenly eclipsed by a few of these students. I squintily looked up at their silhouettes and raised my head from my backpack which was doubling as a pillow.
“Can I help you?” I asked, shielding my eyes.
“Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?” the girl silhouette asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?” the boy asked.
Now I’m getting up. Something about talking about Jesus while reclining with my jeans shorts rolled up extra high and my midriff showing for optimum tanning made me kind of uncomfortable. I unrolled, adjusted my tee shirt and brushed the grass from my butt. “Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus? Is that what you’re asking me?”
“Yes. Because we’re from the…”
“I know where you’re from,” I interrupted. My face was hot and it wasn’t from the sunburn I was working on. “Didn’t you just ask me about a personal relationship…operative word being personal?”
“If you’re a BELIEVER, then you should be proud to say yes,” the boy said, extending a pamphlet toward me.
“It’s really none of your business what my beliefs are. What kind of underwear are you wearing? Boxers? Briefs?”
I have never seen two people zip away so quickly. And I didn’t notice that anyone was listening to our conversation until about a half dozen of my fellow sunbathers began applauding.
So, I do get it. But there is a big difference, at least in my happy logic, between impeding on someone’s privacy or religion and putting up a tree.
I am all about sensitivity and consideration, but I just don’t understand how a lighted, decorated tree is offensive. We have a ginormous one at my workplace and I honestly don’t think of anything religious when I see it. I just think, “How pretty…” And then as soon as January 1 hits, I think, “Good gosh, let’s take all this Holiday stuff DOWN!” because I’m completely over it (as well as the snow and cold) once the festivities have officially passed.
Steinvic and I were watching something on the History Channel or the Discovery Channel or some other brainy channel over the snowy weekend and it was all about the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. And then there was a show right after that featured former American citizens who had defected and joined terrorist organizations, now hating America and all it stands for, as well as Christianity.
It boggles my tangled little brain because while I certainly have my hot buttons and convictions, unless someone’s religious beliefs include killing or hurting sentient beings for pleasure, I don’t know how anyone can get ticked off about how someone else chooses to worship. It’s a personal belief. Keep it personal! Or discuss it civilly, just because it's interesting to share ideas and hear other viewpoints, peacfully. (Some of the comments after the article are perfect.) And let others keep their beliefs personal. And then everyone can be personal and personable and we can all get along because we’re not impeding on anybody.
I guess it’s a mixed message to be careful but also lighten up…and maybe have some egg nog or peppermint hot chocolate with Bailey’s (or ice water or whatever your drink of choice is) and appreciate the lights, whatever they mean to you.
It’s a great episode (aren’t they all?) and it’s also a nice reminder that what some of us find comforting, others are offended by.
But when is being considerate taking things too far? And at the same time, when is being offended an excuse to be hyper sensitive and to just have something to gripe about?
Christmas seems to bring out the sensitivity in all of us. I was raised Unitarian, and while I don’t really consider myself a Unitarian now (Belief-O-Matic says I’m a Quaker…go figure), one nice thing I took from that upbringing was a respect for other religions. I’m pretty darn tolerant, unless someone is cramming their beliefs – whatever they may be – down my gullet, and then I become a bit of a B.
In college, there was a very tight group of students who attended a nearby church and they were out to recruit as many members as possible. While skipping class and sunning myself on the lawn behind McMicken, my sunshine was suddenly eclipsed by a few of these students. I squintily looked up at their silhouettes and raised my head from my backpack which was doubling as a pillow.
“Can I help you?” I asked, shielding my eyes.
“Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?” the girl silhouette asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?” the boy asked.
Now I’m getting up. Something about talking about Jesus while reclining with my jeans shorts rolled up extra high and my midriff showing for optimum tanning made me kind of uncomfortable. I unrolled, adjusted my tee shirt and brushed the grass from my butt. “Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus? Is that what you’re asking me?”
“Yes. Because we’re from the…”
“I know where you’re from,” I interrupted. My face was hot and it wasn’t from the sunburn I was working on. “Didn’t you just ask me about a personal relationship…operative word being personal?”
“If you’re a BELIEVER, then you should be proud to say yes,” the boy said, extending a pamphlet toward me.
“It’s really none of your business what my beliefs are. What kind of underwear are you wearing? Boxers? Briefs?”
I have never seen two people zip away so quickly. And I didn’t notice that anyone was listening to our conversation until about a half dozen of my fellow sunbathers began applauding.
So, I do get it. But there is a big difference, at least in my happy logic, between impeding on someone’s privacy or religion and putting up a tree.
I am all about sensitivity and consideration, but I just don’t understand how a lighted, decorated tree is offensive. We have a ginormous one at my workplace and I honestly don’t think of anything religious when I see it. I just think, “How pretty…” And then as soon as January 1 hits, I think, “Good gosh, let’s take all this Holiday stuff DOWN!” because I’m completely over it (as well as the snow and cold) once the festivities have officially passed.
Steinvic and I were watching something on the History Channel or the Discovery Channel or some other brainy channel over the snowy weekend and it was all about the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. And then there was a show right after that featured former American citizens who had defected and joined terrorist organizations, now hating America and all it stands for, as well as Christianity.
It boggles my tangled little brain because while I certainly have my hot buttons and convictions, unless someone’s religious beliefs include killing or hurting sentient beings for pleasure, I don’t know how anyone can get ticked off about how someone else chooses to worship. It’s a personal belief. Keep it personal! Or discuss it civilly, just because it's interesting to share ideas and hear other viewpoints, peacfully. (Some of the comments after the article are perfect.) And let others keep their beliefs personal. And then everyone can be personal and personable and we can all get along because we’re not impeding on anybody.
I guess it’s a mixed message to be careful but also lighten up…and maybe have some egg nog or peppermint hot chocolate with Bailey’s (or ice water or whatever your drink of choice is) and appreciate the lights, whatever they mean to you.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Getting Ready for Christmas...
I love Christmas. It would be easy for me to not really care about this Holiday, or to even not like it at all...
I worked retail for more than a decade. THAT could kill the joy of the Holiday Season for even the toughest of us.
But once I got out of retail, and began celebrating the Holiday without the aid of a mall, I really have come to love this time of year.
I think that, no matter what your religious beliefs are (I had an associate who was of the Jewish faith who LOVED the Holidays) or no matter whether or not you love the hustle and bustle of the Season, you gotta admit that people (for the most part) seem to want to be in a festive mood.
The key is not getting too caught up in the have to's or the spending.
So yesterday, we made a list of gifts for others we need to buy (it's not a super long list) and talked about our plans. We purchased and assembled a tiny shelf for the basement (which now holds the last two boxes of unpacked memorabilia from when Steinvic moved here) so that it will be prettier down there for when Young Man and his girlfriend join us in the next few weeks. Steinvic got out the little tree from his place, and put the exercise bike in the basement so that our living room is clear.
Now, we can decorate. Maybe tonight, maybe throughout the week. It's not massive amounts of decorations or anything...but I'm excited because this is our first married Christmas, our first Christmas in one home, our first Christmas of mixing our decorations and beginning our own new traditions.
Hope that you're finding some joy in the preparations of this season. Pop Elf into the DVD player, dim the lights, light some candles, pour some Nog (or Peppermint Coffee if you're anti-Nog) or wine and kick this season off the right way!
I worked retail for more than a decade. THAT could kill the joy of the Holiday Season for even the toughest of us.
But once I got out of retail, and began celebrating the Holiday without the aid of a mall, I really have come to love this time of year.
I think that, no matter what your religious beliefs are (I had an associate who was of the Jewish faith who LOVED the Holidays) or no matter whether or not you love the hustle and bustle of the Season, you gotta admit that people (for the most part) seem to want to be in a festive mood.
The key is not getting too caught up in the have to's or the spending.
So yesterday, we made a list of gifts for others we need to buy (it's not a super long list) and talked about our plans. We purchased and assembled a tiny shelf for the basement (which now holds the last two boxes of unpacked memorabilia from when Steinvic moved here) so that it will be prettier down there for when Young Man and his girlfriend join us in the next few weeks. Steinvic got out the little tree from his place, and put the exercise bike in the basement so that our living room is clear.
Now, we can decorate. Maybe tonight, maybe throughout the week. It's not massive amounts of decorations or anything...but I'm excited because this is our first married Christmas, our first Christmas in one home, our first Christmas of mixing our decorations and beginning our own new traditions.
Hope that you're finding some joy in the preparations of this season. Pop Elf into the DVD player, dim the lights, light some candles, pour some Nog (or Peppermint Coffee if you're anti-Nog) or wine and kick this season off the right way!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Ode to Cornelius (aka The Walmart Dance)
I'll admit that some nights, my "To Do" list is a little ambitious. When I think of things during the day, I'll go, "Ooo! I gotta write that down..." and before I know it, the list is more than one Post-It long, and I'm a complete slave to it: I won't feel good unless I accomplish everything.
Last night's list read like this:
Go to Michael's for non-toxic, permanent glass paint. They didn't have the paint I needed. Grrr...
Pick up compact, olives, pineapple... Went to Target for my compact. Decided that, at this point, I needed some wine, too. And of course the pineapple, olives...
The grocery store would have to wait.
Finally, I was home. Fixing the garbage disposal was a breeze! (I was so anxious to find out if this simple wrench would do it that I didn't even change out of my work clothes to try it out.) Relief!
Then I hopped online to order my bike. Remember how I said that Steinvic had given me many gift cards inside many sweet, heartfelt Christmas cards? Well...the Walmart online ordering system only accepts 4 gift cards per order. What. The. Heck?! Apparently, they don't appreciate cuteness or cleverness or multiple gift cards.
So, I started trying to call the 1-800 number to see what I could do about it...every number I tried took me to something automated. All I wanted to do was talk to someone. So, for the sake of my exercise bike and in the Spirit of Christmas, I did what any bike-deprived girl in my situation would do: I lied. I picked the "problem with service in store" option, waited forever, and began to tell her my woes when she kindly interrupted me transferred me to someone else "who can help with your ordeal."
Enter Cornelius. Now, given that it's Christmastime, you may immediately be thinking of this Cornelius:
But no. This Cornelius sounded more like this guy:
and as funny as he was, Cornelius couldn't help me at first. I mean, he was totally willing to help, but he said he had no idea what to do about my problem. And - this is strange - he said that walmart.com and the actual stores weren't really "connected." He said there was no way to determine which store might have my exercise bike because the stores only agree to show inventory levels of certain items. My bike wasn't one of them.
He suggested that maybe I go in and see if a manager would trade four of my cards for one big $100 card and that I could use that, plus my two others, to make my online purchase. I said, "I'll tell them that Cornelius is going to beat them up if they won't agree," and he laughed at that. "Yes! Do that! They'll have to do it!"
Then he said, "Wait...maybe you can order a $100 e-card online and pay for it with your four $25 ones. Then the system will send one big gift certificate to your e-mail for $100...try that!!"
Well, Cornelius, you are a genius. Because it worked!
Bike ordered! Soon, I will be burning calories on this:
and I can't wait! Thank you Steinvic!
Last night's list read like this:
- Home
- Don't forget to pick up Walmart and Michael's gift cards from piano!
- Check underneath sink for Allen wrench size
- Go to Walmart for Bike
- Go to hardware store for wrench
- Go to Michael's for non-toxic permanent glass paint
- Pick up compact, olives, pineapple
- Grocery store? Sauerkraut, potatoes, pork for Steinvic, snacks
I had the first three things checked off my list in no time. The fourth was tricky...it started snowing big time and our local Walmart didn't have my exercise bike. The online store locator for the bike wasn't working, so if I was going to get my bike, I was going to have to drive around from store to store looking for it. So, with crummy visibility, I drove to a second Walmart and when they didn't have it, I gave up, totally disappointed. Instead of touring all the Cincinnati Walmarts, I decided to order it online when I got home.
Go to hardware store for wrench. After walking around and around and around looking for the wrench I needed or someone to help me find it, I found a cashier and got her to radio someone to help me. He magically emerged with another worker from the aisle I'd just been in (they weren't there one second before! I swear!) found my wrench (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way back in the appliance area, next to garbage disposals...not with the plumbing tools like I thought) and promised that it would solve my garbage disposal issue.Go to Michael's for non-toxic, permanent glass paint. They didn't have the paint I needed. Grrr...
Pick up compact, olives, pineapple... Went to Target for my compact. Decided that, at this point, I needed some wine, too. And of course the pineapple, olives...
The grocery store would have to wait.
Finally, I was home. Fixing the garbage disposal was a breeze! (I was so anxious to find out if this simple wrench would do it that I didn't even change out of my work clothes to try it out.) Relief!
Then I hopped online to order my bike. Remember how I said that Steinvic had given me many gift cards inside many sweet, heartfelt Christmas cards? Well...the Walmart online ordering system only accepts 4 gift cards per order. What. The. Heck?! Apparently, they don't appreciate cuteness or cleverness or multiple gift cards.
So, I started trying to call the 1-800 number to see what I could do about it...every number I tried took me to something automated. All I wanted to do was talk to someone. So, for the sake of my exercise bike and in the Spirit of Christmas, I did what any bike-deprived girl in my situation would do: I lied. I picked the "problem with service in store" option, waited forever, and began to tell her my woes when she kindly interrupted me transferred me to someone else "who can help with your ordeal."
Enter Cornelius. Now, given that it's Christmastime, you may immediately be thinking of this Cornelius:
But no. This Cornelius sounded more like this guy:
and as funny as he was, Cornelius couldn't help me at first. I mean, he was totally willing to help, but he said he had no idea what to do about my problem. And - this is strange - he said that walmart.com and the actual stores weren't really "connected." He said there was no way to determine which store might have my exercise bike because the stores only agree to show inventory levels of certain items. My bike wasn't one of them.
He suggested that maybe I go in and see if a manager would trade four of my cards for one big $100 card and that I could use that, plus my two others, to make my online purchase. I said, "I'll tell them that Cornelius is going to beat them up if they won't agree," and he laughed at that. "Yes! Do that! They'll have to do it!"
Then he said, "Wait...maybe you can order a $100 e-card online and pay for it with your four $25 ones. Then the system will send one big gift certificate to your e-mail for $100...try that!!"
Well, Cornelius, you are a genius. Because it worked!
Bike ordered! Soon, I will be burning calories on this:
and I can't wait! Thank you Steinvic!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Was Yours Merry?
Welcome back to reality...aka The Week After Christmas. While some smart folks did that thing with their vacation time that my sister used to do with her candy at Halloween (save it to taunt me with long after mine had been devoured), I did not. That means, back to work today. Back to reality. Back to Cincinnati.
We had such a great Christmas. Time with Steinvic's son on the 23rd and 24th. Time with friends on Christmas Eve. Time together. A lovely time at Mom's on Christmas Day, and more lovely times at Steinvic's Mom's the day after.
My favorite part of the Holidays is spending time with such amazing people...why we don't insist to ourselves that we do it more all year long, I don't know.
For more than a year, I've wanted this particular exercise bike. It's recumbent and while it's not super expensive, it seems that every time I save fifty cents, something big happens to undermine my savings progress. When Steinvic wanted to know what I'd most like for Christmas, I said, "A Walmart* gift card for $25, and a mushy Christmas card." I totally meant it. I wanted him to save for his trip with his son that's coming up in a few months.
Well, he honored my wishes...but in a much bigger way than I expected. I got many, many beautiful, mushy Christmas cards and many $25 gift cards ( also from his Mom - who had my name in the family drawing - and his son, too ) and now I have enough to buy my beloved exercise bike. I plan to go tonight and I can't wait!
There were other highlights...seeing Steinvic's son's face when he opened his Reds tickets (the game is in Phoenix) from his Dad and realized that they had something big to look forward to this spring...that was awesome. Seeing Steinvic putting on his new leather jacket made me happy. I had Steinvic's 8 year old niece in the family drawing and had customized a Chipmunks painting for her and watching her walk all around, carrying that canvas because she didn't want to put it down...that is something I won't forget any time soon. Knowing that J's little ones believe that Eli the Elf really wrote those Christmas letters to them... precious.
All those little moments...all because at this time of year, we go the extra mile. We're a little more clever, a little more committed to surprising those we love, a little more elf-like or Santa-ish than usual. I love it. I live for it! But more importantly, I want that, on some smaller scale, all year long.
I hope you had a fantastic Holiday and that every time you think of it, you smile...
* For those of you who hate Walmart, I'm sorry! I do understand. I honestly don't shop there for my everyday items. If I purchase something from Walmart once a year, that's a max. However, I got a stepper there a few years ago...exact model priced elsewhere for $299 and up...Walmart's price? $80. Same with the recumbent bike I want...at least $50 - $150 more everywhere else I've priced...
We had such a great Christmas. Time with Steinvic's son on the 23rd and 24th. Time with friends on Christmas Eve. Time together. A lovely time at Mom's on Christmas Day, and more lovely times at Steinvic's Mom's the day after.
My favorite part of the Holidays is spending time with such amazing people...why we don't insist to ourselves that we do it more all year long, I don't know.
For more than a year, I've wanted this particular exercise bike. It's recumbent and while it's not super expensive, it seems that every time I save fifty cents, something big happens to undermine my savings progress. When Steinvic wanted to know what I'd most like for Christmas, I said, "A Walmart* gift card for $25, and a mushy Christmas card." I totally meant it. I wanted him to save for his trip with his son that's coming up in a few months.
Well, he honored my wishes...but in a much bigger way than I expected. I got many, many beautiful, mushy Christmas cards and many $25 gift cards ( also from his Mom - who had my name in the family drawing - and his son, too ) and now I have enough to buy my beloved exercise bike. I plan to go tonight and I can't wait!
There were other highlights...seeing Steinvic's son's face when he opened his Reds tickets (the game is in Phoenix) from his Dad and realized that they had something big to look forward to this spring...that was awesome. Seeing Steinvic putting on his new leather jacket made me happy. I had Steinvic's 8 year old niece in the family drawing and had customized a Chipmunks painting for her and watching her walk all around, carrying that canvas because she didn't want to put it down...that is something I won't forget any time soon. Knowing that J's little ones believe that Eli the Elf really wrote those Christmas letters to them... precious.
All those little moments...all because at this time of year, we go the extra mile. We're a little more clever, a little more committed to surprising those we love, a little more elf-like or Santa-ish than usual. I love it. I live for it! But more importantly, I want that, on some smaller scale, all year long.
I hope you had a fantastic Holiday and that every time you think of it, you smile...
* For those of you who hate Walmart, I'm sorry! I do understand. I honestly don't shop there for my everyday items. If I purchase something from Walmart once a year, that's a max. However, I got a stepper there a few years ago...exact model priced elsewhere for $299 and up...Walmart's price? $80. Same with the recumbent bike I want...at least $50 - $150 more everywhere else I've priced...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It's About That Time...
Steinvic and his son are on their way down the highway, right now. They should be here any minute and this means our Christmas officially begins!
Of course, I'm not at home with them to crack open the bourbon and some Leinenkugel's. (not together, of course...) Noooooooo...I'm still at work. But just for a couple more hours.
I hope that whatever you and yours are doing for the Holidays, that your time together is merry and bright!
Of course, I'm not at home with them to crack open the bourbon and some Leinenkugel's. (not together, of course...) Noooooooo...I'm still at work. But just for a couple more hours.
I hope that whatever you and yours are doing for the Holidays, that your time together is merry and bright!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tangled
Christmas is coming, and this one is different from every other Christmas I've ever known.
My Grandma loved Christmas. She was the kind of hostess - all year round - who never minded the fuss and preparation that went into having a massive number of guests in her home. In fact, as my family would pile in at the Holidays, I'd hang out in the kitchen with her and help her and she just enjoyed it so much. (I love my Mother tremendosly, but she does NOT enjoy the hostessing...she gets pretty stressed!)
As a musician, my Grandma adored the lush, bright, sentimental and spiritual variety of songs that surround this Holiday. As a devoted Christian (no, not the fanatical, judgmental sort...more the sincere, well-versed, accepting, forgiving, unwaivering sort) she truly enjoyed celebrating the Glory of Christ's birth. And of course, any reason to gather family...she was all about Christmas.
So it only stands to reason that the giant sinking feeling - which I've really been working to keep at bay - is here, cropping up at moments when it really shouldn't. Take last night for example...folding laundry is not sad, is it? No! But there I am in the laundry room, crying so hard that I had to sit down. Sobbing instead of folding. Of course, I let it last only for a minute because I know what my Grandma would say about those tears. And I know that crying doesn't help a thing. I just wish she were here.
Amidst all of that, this Christmas is different in a GREAT way because I'm now engaged to Steinvic and while our relationship is still the same incredible, solid, fun, deep, meaningful bond we've always shared, it does feel even more exciting to know that we're officially committed to spending our lives together. It's romantic! It's reassuring. It feels extra-permanent and I haven't really had any of that in my lifetime.
Because Steinvic loves me, I have so much: a wonderful man who really wants my happiness, who makes me want to be a better version of myself, who really thinks I'm pretty cool just as I am (it's shocking!) And a young man who says he couldn't be happier about me being his Step Mom...that he wouldn't want anyone else in the world to play that role. (How amazing is it to hear someone voluntarily say that and know he means it!?) A huge family full of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and a Mother-in-Law-to-be who is so very dear. I finally have a big, beautiful family and it's full of some of the best people I know. And to think that just maybe, next Christmas, Steinvic and I won't be doing all of our Holiday preparations in separate cities, but together! In the same home! So, it's an incredibly joyful time.
In short, I'm a mess. I am happier than I've ever been. With an undercurrent of extreme sadness as a bonus! Go figure...
All the while, I've been in full-force Elf Mode. Busy and loving it! I've made my specialty felt mice for a few fantastic folks, painted some pictures upon request, painted a lovely jewlery box for a dear friend's daughter (Hello, J!), and was even asked to write a few Christmas letters as an Elf - a major honor that I hope to repeat for those precious kids every year. I've been shopping and creating and cooking and wrapping and humming and enjoying every little detail...all the things that make this season just a little nicer.
And I think I may have just found my Grandma in this Christmas after all...
My Grandma loved Christmas. She was the kind of hostess - all year round - who never minded the fuss and preparation that went into having a massive number of guests in her home. In fact, as my family would pile in at the Holidays, I'd hang out in the kitchen with her and help her and she just enjoyed it so much. (I love my Mother tremendosly, but she does NOT enjoy the hostessing...she gets pretty stressed!)
As a musician, my Grandma adored the lush, bright, sentimental and spiritual variety of songs that surround this Holiday. As a devoted Christian (no, not the fanatical, judgmental sort...more the sincere, well-versed, accepting, forgiving, unwaivering sort) she truly enjoyed celebrating the Glory of Christ's birth. And of course, any reason to gather family...she was all about Christmas.
So it only stands to reason that the giant sinking feeling - which I've really been working to keep at bay - is here, cropping up at moments when it really shouldn't. Take last night for example...folding laundry is not sad, is it? No! But there I am in the laundry room, crying so hard that I had to sit down. Sobbing instead of folding. Of course, I let it last only for a minute because I know what my Grandma would say about those tears. And I know that crying doesn't help a thing. I just wish she were here.
Amidst all of that, this Christmas is different in a GREAT way because I'm now engaged to Steinvic and while our relationship is still the same incredible, solid, fun, deep, meaningful bond we've always shared, it does feel even more exciting to know that we're officially committed to spending our lives together. It's romantic! It's reassuring. It feels extra-permanent and I haven't really had any of that in my lifetime.
Because Steinvic loves me, I have so much: a wonderful man who really wants my happiness, who makes me want to be a better version of myself, who really thinks I'm pretty cool just as I am (it's shocking!) And a young man who says he couldn't be happier about me being his Step Mom...that he wouldn't want anyone else in the world to play that role. (How amazing is it to hear someone voluntarily say that and know he means it!?) A huge family full of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and a Mother-in-Law-to-be who is so very dear. I finally have a big, beautiful family and it's full of some of the best people I know. And to think that just maybe, next Christmas, Steinvic and I won't be doing all of our Holiday preparations in separate cities, but together! In the same home! So, it's an incredibly joyful time.
In short, I'm a mess. I am happier than I've ever been. With an undercurrent of extreme sadness as a bonus! Go figure...
All the while, I've been in full-force Elf Mode. Busy and loving it! I've made my specialty felt mice for a few fantastic folks, painted some pictures upon request, painted a lovely jewlery box for a dear friend's daughter (Hello, J!), and was even asked to write a few Christmas letters as an Elf - a major honor that I hope to repeat for those precious kids every year. I've been shopping and creating and cooking and wrapping and humming and enjoying every little detail...all the things that make this season just a little nicer.
And I think I may have just found my Grandma in this Christmas after all...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A Present for Myself
I've been Christmas shopping, Christmas wrapping and gift-making lately.
I don't get wrapped up in the materialism of this time of year. Working in retail for more than a decade really opened my eyes to just how twisted some folks can get with greed and want and aquisition.
But what I like about the gift-giving part of Christmas is that it's an excuse to shower those around me with thoughtfulness. Yes, I am one of those people who like to do things for others all year 'round. I do! But at Christmas, you can get away with it a little more. I seriously want nothing more for the Holidays than for everyone around me to feel happy. No stress. Loved.
So, it takes me a little longer to find the right things sometimes, or to save for something special, or to sew or glue or paint something for someone. But it all works out. And I love that.
But this morning, I accidentally stumbled upon something for me. I saw this and instantly felt haunted by it...could see it arriving in my mailbox, knew how it would feel in my hand, and could already see it around my neck. Since it was $25, I treated myself. After all the coupons and sales I'm constantly minding, I felt I could spring for it. Isn't it pretty? I know I'll wear it often... Merry Christmas to me!
p.s. If you have time, please check out Haley Luna's Web site. I am blown away by her photography. There are some truly amazing images there (the praying mantis' face! Whoa!) and you might like a little peaceful diversion this time of year, too.
I don't get wrapped up in the materialism of this time of year. Working in retail for more than a decade really opened my eyes to just how twisted some folks can get with greed and want and aquisition.
But what I like about the gift-giving part of Christmas is that it's an excuse to shower those around me with thoughtfulness. Yes, I am one of those people who like to do things for others all year 'round. I do! But at Christmas, you can get away with it a little more. I seriously want nothing more for the Holidays than for everyone around me to feel happy. No stress. Loved.
So, it takes me a little longer to find the right things sometimes, or to save for something special, or to sew or glue or paint something for someone. But it all works out. And I love that.
But this morning, I accidentally stumbled upon something for me. I saw this and instantly felt haunted by it...could see it arriving in my mailbox, knew how it would feel in my hand, and could already see it around my neck. Since it was $25, I treated myself. After all the coupons and sales I'm constantly minding, I felt I could spring for it. Isn't it pretty? I know I'll wear it often... Merry Christmas to me!
p.s. If you have time, please check out Haley Luna's Web site. I am blown away by her photography. There are some truly amazing images there (the praying mantis' face! Whoa!) and you might like a little peaceful diversion this time of year, too.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I Wish I May...
No one knows this...
When I was little, I'd stand on my bed and look out the window at night when I was supposed to be sleeping. I could feel the cool air coming through the frame of the glass - we lived in a starter house and the windows were just barely there. I would look out into the dark at the lights way far away and I'd pretend the convenience store and town lights were stars.
"Star light, star bright..."
I imagined the life I'd one day have. A life where I wouldn't be awkward, where I'd be able to drive a car, where I could put on pretty clothes and makeup and not be the scrawny class nerd. A life without an angry father. A life where I could sing and dance and be famous, like Donnie & Marie. A life where I could, I could, I could...
Fast forward to tonight. I'm wishing again.
This evening, I put up the Christmas decorations. They're simple and modest and I love that. I mean, really simple - it takes me a whole half hour to prepare for the Holidays. But Mom and my Step Dad and Steinvic will all be here this weekend and I thought, Christmas decorations would be just right, even if it's only early December.
I think Steinvic likes that I handle the decorating. I considered waiting until he got here so that we could decorate together, but I thought it would be kind of magical if everything was just so when he comes home.
So, my wishes are different now. I wish that Steinvic loves the warmth and sparkle whe he gets here tomorrow. I wish that I will be a good wife and that Steinvic always thinks I'm beautiful. I wish that I'm always the best version of myself that I can be. I wish that the things which once challenged my strength will truly make me the most stable, strong, capable person I could imagine. I wish that if I live to be 91, I look back and feel I've been half the woman my Grandma was. Oh, how I wish I could see her this Christmas...
I wish.
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