Tuesday, November 17, 2015


I stopped by here, looking for something I needed from a long time ago.

I remember deleting a zillion posts at one point and starting over. I wish I hadn't done that. Silly or not, they were my thoughts at one time.

Now they're gone.

I looked at aaaaaaaaaaaaall the links on the right...sites I used to visit regularly, clinging to the words of the author, excited when there was new content to read, slightly disappointed when there wasn't. Now, many of those sites are defunct.

Kind of like this one.

I kept a regular blog at myfitnesspal.com, mostly about weightloss and health, but sometimes about personal awareness or epiphanies, but I've stopped writing there, too.

I could blame work, but that isn't fair. My job is all kinds of awesome. I got promoted last year and I love the work I'm doing and the people I'm working with.

I realize that I have ZERO creative outlets right now. I am not writing, making poetry, sewing, painting. Nada.

And that means I'm only half-living. And I have no one to blame for that besides myself.

So, if I write it, it's true: Starting now, I am going to get back to it. I'm going to post here regularly and I'm going to start making art again.

That's that.

Thursday, March 19, 2015


I haven't forgotten about this place.

I sometimes think I have something clever or substantial to say. But while I may blather on in a slightly annoying way when I've had a cocktail or two, I haven't felt chatty. I haven't felt like writing anything personal.

Sometimes I begin and then I delete.

Twice I had a whole post written out and when I went to publish, got an error. Who knows...that could happen momentarily and even this post will be lost!

On the chance that it isn't...my life has changed. (Of course it has.)

And some things haven't changed...Steinvic and I continue to improve our little home and dream of a bigger one. We love our Houdini. He is four now and makes us just as happy today as on day one.

I keep working out and watching my intake and wondering why I am still not a size 8. But I'm happy with my fitness and in general, with myself. Because I am starting to realize that even if you're on your way somewhere, you have to love where you are now.

The most significant change is that Steinvic and I are finally in one home... in the same place, full-time! But it comes at a cost...he got a new supervisor in August of 2013, who is a complete bag and nixed his working remotely for part of each week. She wanted him in Columbus five days a week - two hours away - with no compensation for his four-hour daily commute or stipend to stay somewhere when he was there. Further, we didn't get married to be apart all of the time, and so he accepted severance and ended his employment. We banked on  him finding a job quickly.

The job part hasn't happened yet, but it's not for a lack of trying and we're managing. But I know its hard on him. A few times, I've freaked out over worrying about our finances. We talk it out and we get through it together...it makes me proud because that is what real couples do. He is still diligently looking and I, perhaps in part out of fear, I dug in deeper at work and got promoted for it. Several times. I saw holes and offered to fill them. I am fortunate that my employer thought I was qualified and gave me the chance. I'm reminded to always step up, even if I'm not fully certain about the opportunity for rewards...and even if sometimes the reward is just knowing you've truly, fully applied yourself.

So, when Steinvic does land a job, we'll be in really good shape. This will be a first for us...each coming from relationships where we willingly gave up possessions in exchange for freedom or peace, we haven't been as financially comfortable as two hard working people should be. It will be nice to feel settled. But more, we're so damn lucky to have each other.

Young Man has all but graduated from college and he is just exactly where he should be in life...on his own, independent, hard-working and figuring out what he'll do next. It's satisfying to see the man he's grown into over the 11 years his dad and I have been together. He's so talented and has so much promise.

I read this update and it sounds a little weary. And I guess I am tired. I'm grateful, though. I need to do a better job of finding time to be creative and to relax. But what is required now, and what I am celebrating, is pushing myself a little harder and a little further, in all elements of my life.

If I don't, how do I know what I might become?

Monday, November 25, 2013

Because We All Want to...

...feel good about the world. Check out this awesome story that will restore your faith in Humanity, just in case it waivers sometimes:


Since I was a lisping, buck-toothed, glasses-sporting, bookish little wonder-nerd in my formative years, this kind of story makes me profoundly happy. I hope you like it, too.

p.s. Yep, sometimes people revisit their seemingly abandoned blogs with little to no explanation. I'm not making any big promises, but I hope to be here more often.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Self - Version 5.0

Coming soon to a web page near you...

Saturday, January 26, 2013


I'm going to have a little downtime in a few weeks. While some may welcome it, I equate it to clipping a bird's wings.

I'm not one to sit still. If a movie or show we love is on, I'm sewing or cooking or painting or drawing. I'm riding my exercise bike.

I'm a natural multi-tasker and I am good at it and thrive on it.

So, the idea of lying on a couch for a few days, maybe even a week, has me a little freaked out.

To help me with my vegetative state, I treated myself to the entire DVD sets of Ghostwhisperer and Absolutely Fabulous.

And, because I'm going to be looking at our house more than usual, I've been nesting.

Steinvic gave me his Kohl's cash from Christmas, and so did my Mom. I used these to buy new sofa and love seat covers for our living room. Our throw pillows looked tired, so I broke out the sewing machine and whipped up eight new ones.

Then, I won $104 from a $10 bet in Keno last week, so I used that to buy new fixtures, tile and paint for our master bathroom...total cost, $132.

So, we're having a little mini home makeover, for about $38 out of pocket.

The bathroom has a "city" theme that I liked when I first moved here, but since Steinvic moved down from C-bus, I've spent the last three years wishing to make it a more elegant, grown up bathroom. So, I'm painting over the funky skyline mural I'd created with warm browns and tans and burgundies. And I'm pulling up the floor to replace the crappy linoleum (that never looks clean) with awesome Armstrong peel and stick that looks like the Grand Canyon. Last weekend, I painted the vanity chocolate brown, replaced the tired cabinet handles and t.p. holder with new, modern silver ones. I managed to get the medicine cabinet door off, taped off the mirror, and spray painted the old, blue frame a metalic silver.

I am so excited...

And scared. I'm having surgery. It's my second surgery for endometriosis. I'm stage four, and about six years ago, had a laporoscopy so the doctor could biopsy the mass that had grown on my right ovary, and to excise the endo tissue that was wreaking  havoc on my system.

In the last six months, I've been able to tell that the mass had grown back. I've felt the same pain, lethargy, nausea...all the symptoms that make some days and nights pretty tough.

When I went to the doctor (this is a way better doctor than I had for the first surgery) in November, I pointed to my abdomen exactly where I felt the most discomfort. In my exam, she could feel another mass. An ultrasound showed that my right ovary was huge and that I've also got a fibroid mass in my uterus.

She recommended a full hysterectomy. But I don't want to be in menopause at 41.

I suggested a compromise - since I'd gotten about 5 years out of the last "tune up," how about yanking the "bad" ovary, repairing the fibroid and seeing if I can get another 5 years of relief? By then, I'd be closer to natural menopause anyway, and maybe ready for the hysterectomy.

She agreed. I was so glad Steinvic went with me to talk everything over. Him being there gave me the confidence to whip out my amateur M.D.  degree. :) He has been amazingly supportive and wonderful, both about the process, and through all the episodes of pain and nausea and general bleh.

The down time is about 2 weeks (plus 4 more weeks of non lifting) instead of 6 weeks for the full deal.

So, I imagine I'll be here a little more. I'll have time. I do spend time every day on myfitnesspal, and I have a rockin' blog over there with lots of readers. I still love this place, but it's always been a little lonely here.

I'll post pics of the makeover soon...I've got painting to do today!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Full Update

There is some terrible thing going on where I can't just log in all normal to get here. Some "this domain may be for sale" crap pops up, so if I did have any readers, I suspect they can't read it either.

But I am a crafty fox and figured out how to get here anyway, despite the Internet bastards.

I spend VERY little time online when I'm not at work. After 8 + hours of computer time, the last thing I want to do is get online at home. That is my weak excuse for not updating like I used to. This is blocked at work, and when I get home, it's puppy time, walk time, chore time.

I'm down 30 + pounds, getting ready for my first craft show, just celebrated two years of wedded bliss with Steinvic, and having a vanilla vodka, cinnamon vodka, club soda cocktail.

Nail art is back in, and I am the nail art master, so I am six shades of fabulous.

It's Sunday, which means Italian Night here at our place, so I am cooking up a batch of incredible homemade sauce as I type this.

I submitted a piece to the Op Ed section of the New York Times and I am waiting to hear back.

A tiny, mini wiener - who participated sort of in the Running of The Wieners race last month - is sitting here supervising me. I think he is going to fall asleep, even though I'm watching him battle it...he wants to stay awake...

Steinvic is watching football at our local. The laundry is whirring in his absence. A giant bouquet of flowers from him is keeping Houdini and I company while he's gone. Yeah, I was invited to go, but I felt like being a homebody.

We had dinner out and exchanged gifts for our special day...I got him a Pendleton Cotton shirt, 12 Year Old Jameson, and special whiskey glasses. He got me all the Wes Anderson movies and an insanely lovely dinner at Mitchell's Fish Market, and he ordered for me, which I requested. I love my husband.

My folks just got back from a week + tour around Boston.

This is what is going on here. I still love this blog, and it is, I hope, still mine. Need to look into this bizarre domain for sale crap. How does that even happen? I guess if you don't post for months, that's what you get...

Hope to come by here soon. Full knowledge that I'm writing just for me, but that's something, right?

Until next time...I'm still here...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Another Product Endorsement for Which I Will Not be Compensated - Double Review Edition!

It's  been a long time since I've reviewed anything here, but beauty technology burns on, and I've encountered two products that I really like! So here we go:

Kat Von D's Tattoo Lock It Foundation
I recently ordered some items from Sephora and received a sample of this new product. To my surprise, it also happens to be in my perfect shade: 48, Light.

I didn't even know about the product - that it is light enough for daily wear, but substantial enough to cover tattoos - when I tried it. I just knew I needed an oil free foundation without SPF (I'm allergic to it on my face) and that the brand I used the last two years was recently discontinued.

This foundation covers, covers, covers and lasts, lasts, lasts. You don't need much of it at all to get a really nice, smooth base for your other makeup. I went without concealer for the first time ever. Nice, dense pigments delivered in a creamy, liquid base delivered perfect performance all day. I only needed to apply powder to my nose midday and looked great right up until the time I exercised. (Which is always when all hell breaks loose because I sweat like a mutha when I bike.)

I ordered the full size version today and while I'm not a big fan of Kat Von D (how in the hell could she get with that Jesse James douche knowing what a piece of crap biggot he is?) I really love this product and will buy it as long as it's available. My skin is very good (fortunately) but the addition of this foundation makes it look really nice and even more even.

Revlon's Color Stay Nail Polish (including separate top and base coats)
I recently took off my acrylic nails after 7 months of wear. It was just time. I started not liking how they looked and couldn't commit to spending an hour in the salon every three weeks...too much to do! So, I considered gel nails, I considered buying my own at-home version, and then I read that this new product from Revlon delivered up to 11 days of wear.

I asked the lovely clerk at Walgreens if the base and top coat were required to get the advertised results, and she said she and the other gals tested it after a customer returned to buy the other parts after getting poor results with the color alone. I didn't want to spend $7.99 each, but she said they were actually a dollar off (she was positioning signs when I approached her) and she had coupons to give me another dollar off each part.

I applied the polish to my short natural nails this morning and wow! Great coverage and I've already typed all day and done some housework tonight, and showered and not a chip or ding in sight.

I'll update after a few days have gone by to let you know if I think the 11 day estimate is achievable, but I can say that my at home manicures seldom make it a day without some sign of wear and tear.

So, that's the scoop! Get out there and give these products a try! I'm off to make my healthy whole wheat pizza that has been my mainstay during my diet...this is what Houdini and I nosh on while Steinvic is away! Extra good...I'm gonna get cookin'!