Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Moving On!

So, enough whining. A new day puts great perspective on everything, right? And buying a new dress for a friend's wedding in a few weeks, and getting it for a whopping $51 and free shipping doesn't hurt, either, does it? New day, new dress, new outlook. Huzzah!

Have you been keeping up with the Casey Anthony trial? You know I've been waiting for this for almost three years. I follow a few cases religiously...can't help it. The West Memphis Three tragedy is one I have followed nearly half my life! The Ryan Widmer case. Missing Kyron Horman...almost a whole year now. And the Anthony case.

I am so glad that it is finally being tried. I'm not one of these blood-lusting people who are looking for a death sentence for Casey. I am one who prefers that someone who is guilty serves a life sentence behind bars, no parole. That is a far greater punishment than death.

For someone like Casey, who prided herself on her looks, promiscuity, attention from men, shopping, dancing, partying...being in the clink is like torture.

I do think she killed her daughter and I always have. I never believed in the Zanny the Nanny person she made up...it doesn't make any sense. I don't think that George Anthony sexually abused Casey at all.

What I think is...Casey is a mixed-up girl who was extremely, painfully jealous of her daughter. Everyone loves Caylee. Especially Cindy and George.

Whatever the big blow up the night before Caylee disappeared made Casey snap. I am so sure of it. I think she'd entertained thoughts of what life without Caylee would be like, but felt guilty about it. Not killing her, but maybe leaving her with Cindy and George. But then she'd feel guilty, and then she'd think about how it would look, and how much Cindy would enjoy being with Caylee all the time, and that made Casey even more jealous. And also...how would Casey explain it to anyone? I mean, what kind of mother gives up her child to her parents, right? So that she could go party and do whatever?

(I think a smart, young mother might do that if she did not feel equipped to handle the responsibility. I think someone who knows her limitations and abilities might make that very sound decision for the benefit of the child.)

I imagine that Casey flipped out after that arguement and killed Caylee. I can't say exactly how it happened...accidental overdose of chloroform, as has been speculated about? Intentional overdose of it? Angry rage? I don't know. But I do know that she did it, it was quick, and she went about her business of romancing her latest boyfriend. And from the photos that followed over the next month, Casey never looked back.

If Caylee was not with a sitter all the time when Casey was out and about all day and night - and we know she was not and that no sitter existed - who was she with? And, if Casey wasn't at work all day every day - and we know she was not, because she didn't have a job - then what was she doing away from the house each day when she was pretending to work?

I don't know how many of the questions we'll get answered during the course of this trial, but I do believe that the jury will find Casey guilty of murder...

Monday, May 30, 2011


We entertained this weekend, and that was good. J got to meet our pup finally, and we had been looking forward to that for some time... Nice to have our house tidy and show off some culinary skills. And tonight, the parents came for dinner...it was good, too...

But tough for me. This might be a post I later delete, but for tonight, I vent. And it seems petty, as we watch a documentary about the Civil War and slavery, I feel stupid for letting a few comments reduce me to tears.

I am not lazy. I can say that this weekend alone, I have maybe sat a total of four hours. I have cooked and cleaned, happily working hard to make our house feel more like a home. I have managed to get bike rides in, totaling 14 miles over the last three days. Mopping, dusting, cooking, primping.

But one comment, one conversation, demolishes all the pride and self confidence I work so hard for. And I know she didn't mean to be mean...

I am not a ten on the outside. I know it. I don't need a mirror or a scale to tell me I have work to do and I am doing it. But I also don't need anyone to point my obvious shortcomings to me, especially when I am working so hard to look perfect.

I have a husband and a pup who think I hung the moon.

When the person who brought you into the world lets you know you aren't up to par, nothing you or those you treasure think makes that okay. So...tonight, I am trying to listen to my potential.

We are not all a size 2 naturally. I once was, when all I did was drink and smoke, and still pulled 45 minutes on the stairmaster 6 days a week.

I would say that at 5' 7'', 110 lbs, I was the unhealthiest I have ever been. But I "looked good."

I am still tall and very, very strong, but I weigh a lot more. A recent health assessment puts all my numbers at perfect. Except my weight. And I am working on it. But damn if none of that matters tonight.

This moment, I may as well be a giant cow who eats everything she wishes with abandon...not a pescaterian who avoids sugar and processed foods, and works out regularly.

Words. They suck and they sink. I am searching for my own to keep floating.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Back In the Groove

New Orleans was awesome, awesome, awesome. But I was totally homesick (and Pupsick) by the time we came back on Wednesday night.

There were lots of things we could have liked to do...just ran out of time, and were too into doing the other things we were already liking, such as visiting the Funky Pirate, strolling the French Quarter and drinking Hurricanes every day.

Some places you just have to visit if you go:
The Funky Pirate, of course
Coop's Place
Johnny White's

You have to see Big Al Carson and Cori Walters groups play at The Funky Pirate, too. You don't want to miss that!

And the workshop we were there for (and planned)went really well. Everyone there told us that it was the best workshop they'd ever attended, which feels great.

Since getting home, we've just been working to get back into our routines and catch up on laundry, chores and sleep. We finally got the back patio in order yesterday, with Steinvic tackling the weedwhacking, and me trimming our little tree back and putting out 7 bags of gorgeous mulch.

AND, in puppy news...he got his vet checkup yesterday and the little dude is up to 6 pounds, 1.5 ounces. He seems pretty glad we're home, too, and is also back to his routine...

Life is good!

Monday, May 16, 2011

What I am Loving...

New Orleans...for years, I suspected that if I ever made it here, I would not want to leave.
The people? Wow. The music? Soul shaking. The food? I am spoiled... Ruined for life. This town? Hot, spicy, comfortable, intriguing, friendly, foreign, loud, soft and easy...all at once. I am smitten. More later... But if you haven't tried it, you are missing out.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


In preparation for an upcoming trip for work, Steinvic and I have been trying to get Pup acclimated to spending time at my parents' house.

He's doing remarkably well, seems to be getting comfortable with car rides, and since they have visited numerous times since we got him just two weeks ago, he is comfortable with them and their home.

Saturday, we headed to Cbus to spend time with Steinvic's family for Mother's Day, and we dropped Pup off at the folks for a sleepover.

And Steinvic and I got to have a sleepover, downtown, in a lovely renovated hotel room, that he scheduled for us, and it was our first stay out late/sleep in morning since Pup arrived. How nice that was! I think I slept about nine hours, and the bed was so comfortable it has us seriously considering buying a new bed now instead of waiting until we move.

We LOVE Pup. He is a entertaining and lively and funny and exhausting. Anyone who has had a puppy knows that this stage doesn't last forever. At some point, Pup will become a dog who - while still active when inspired - won't be the same little never-ending ball of energy we've got now.

So, we've had to grow a little patience. Okay...I've had to grow a little patience.

Steinvic is the kind of guy that if he says, "No. NO!" to Pup a few times for toe/sock biting, and Pup doesn't mind him, he'll go upstairs and put shoes on. THAT is patience.

I struggle with it. And then I realize that I am trying to reason with an animal that doesn't necessarily understand what I want him to do, and that he just can't do it yet. He will be able to learn things when he gets older, and we plan to Click train him (beginning when we get back from our trip), but for the moment, there are lots of things that he just doesn't get.

My new plan is to distract Pup with an appropriate toy when he chews/bites things he's not supposed to and that if he gets really out of control, we can crate him for a while, and it's not cruel (I feel like we're hurting his feelings when we crate him!)

So...I am the one who really needs retraining right now. Especially during this teething, baby, growing, learning stage. Patience. Not my strongest trait, but I'll get there.

What has Pup learned since living with us for two weeks? He sleeps through the night. He doesn't shriek any more when we leave the house. He eats his baby carrot treats like they are the best thing in the world and understands his water dispenser (it fills if he drinks from it and I have seen him watching the air bubbles go up inside the bottle as he drinks) and food schedule completely. He will fetch (he doesn't realize that we want him to do this...even though we praise him for it. He just wants to PLAY!) his elephant and his ball over and over. He has figured out the potty situation and uses his newspaper/platform about 95% of the time now.

For a little tiny guy, he's learned a lot, super fast. And so have we!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Why Birthers - and Donald Trump - Need to Shut It, Now

I avoid talking politics here. So please know this post really isn't political. It's about appropriateness and respect.

For weeks now, Donald Trump and "Birthers" have been challenging Obama by insisting he produce documentation to prove that he was indeed born in the United States. So many people have supported it by saying, "What is the big deal? Show it!"

And then, there are a lot of people who have responded with, "Would you ask Obama to produce this documentation if he were white?"

Racism literally nauseates and infuriates me. It is my one hot button. Okay, I admittedly have a few more, (picking on folks with special needs, child abuse, animal abuse) but racism is a biggie for me based on how I was raised and what I've seen and experienced. So, because I know this about myself, and I think it's such a horribly ugly attribute for someone to have, I do not draw conclusions about racism easily. A behavior or statement has to be pretty blatant for me to say, "Okay...that was totally racist..."

But I have to say, the way that Obama has been treated sometimes since he has been in office has made me tilt my head a few times and consider the racism claims. Because I don't recall a Congressman yelling "You LIE" during any speech given by any president prior to Obama. And this challenging attitude that Trump and the Birthers (sounds like the name of a really unappealing rockband) have about our President seems pretty disrespectful. What makes them think they have the right to be so outspoken and familiar?

(And yes, I would make this same statement if Obama were a Republican. I was absolutely offended when the Iraqi man threw a shoe at President Bush, even though I was not a Bush Fan and the Iraqi clearly has distain for Americans and no real reason to behave properly. It was still completely inexcuseable, beyond the fact that Bush could have been injured and that would have been terrible.)

First, why it is inappropriate for someone to challenge our President, or anyone else, this way? Remember the fool in Arizona who wanted people who "looked Hispanic" to be ready to produce documentation of citizenship? And how crappy that sounded? Doesn't this request smell similarly rancid?

And second, does the "All American" Trump really think that our Government is so faulty that those who process elected officials' paperwork (it is a job, afterall) wouldn't ask for things like a birth certificate or a Social Security card? Really? You have to do it at any other legitimate job in America...WTH?

So, I'm not going to say that I'm 100% sure that it's racism. I think for sure that it's stupidity and disrespect...and something else: famewhoring.

We live in an age of "reality" shows, blogs, Twitter, Facebook...and somehow, I think that this has given people the false perspective that what they think and say matters. We're able to broadcast our thoughts and actions to anyone who will listen or read them.

Because these opinions can be heard (and reacted to), suddenly people aren't quiet. They can't stop sharing. They want the attention, positive or negative. They want the all the fame that their irrational, shocking and stupid messages can generate. My advice is, before someone tweets, "Just blew my nose...ew!" that they reconsider just what it is that they want in exchange for that tweet. Is this how you want to be remembered, as the person who filterlessly says every word that pops into his or her head?

Does Trump really want to be remembered as the possibly racist/homophobic (loudly and continuously hated on Rosie O'Donnell, too) zillionaire who - despite all that money - doesn't have an ounce of class to handle himself in a dignified manner publicly? Or, could he maybe just keep his opinions about people to himself, and focus his energy and time and money on things that would make him appear to be a good humanitarian? Just asking...

And yeah, I'm going there... how can anyone who doesn't have the common sense to shave off the horrifyingly awful combover go on and on, attracting attention to himself about ANYTHING? Donald! No one loves you! If anyone really did, they'd take you gently aside and guide you to the nearest barber...

Not sexy. If he's going to rock that hair flap, he's got to have something else going for him, and ugly talk like this ain't doing it...