Of Course She Did...

As I did my usual crawl across the headlines this morning, I saw that Casey Anthony refused a visitation with her mother, Cindy, on Friday morning.

Of course she did.

Are you kidding me? Can you imagine how afraid Casey is to face her mother? How uncomfortable that would be?

It could go one of two ways, or a mixture of the two. Cindy could go in with all guns blazing, "You know you did something to cause harm to Caylee/you've destroyed our family/who do you think you are/how dare you accuse George and Lee of the unspeakable," etc. and let Casey really have it, one last time, because I will be surprised if there is any more contact once Casey is released.

Or, Cindy could really mess with her and be compassionate. "We love you any way. We don't love what you did, we don't love the lying, but we're family and can work it out..." What would that do to Casey!? A fin of guilt might actually break through her soul's murky, liquid surface.

She can't afford to face either an angry Cindy or a loving Cindy. She is too afraid.

Casey has single handedly ticked off a good portion of the country. I've known bad-check-passers, liars, druggies, thieves and people who are poor at the art of parenting. I've worked with hundreds of people over the years and have had lots of friends from all different kinds of backgrounds. I even had a good friend - actually, one of my close friends from high school - who innocently got caught up in something shady but then lied to a police detective about it (we had a falling out about that, actually, and it ended our friendship). She was not a bad person...just young and dumb and scared - and it wasn't life or death or anything. Forgivable. Stuff happens. Life happens. People make bad choices and I think most folks are rational and can see the good through the bad and give folks a second chance...maybe even more.

But NO ONE can forgive someone who doesn't report his or her child dead or missing for a month. No one can forgive someone who creates layer after layer of unbelievable story to cover up the facts. No one can forgive someone who parties for days straight instead of telling the truth and beginning the grieving process.

That is what everyone is angry about...the intentional quality of all of this. And Casey's general lack of regard, punctuated by smiles and buoyancy in the courtroom.

No matter how your child died, how could you ever smile again? Or wink? Or plead innocence? Or party? You'd move on as best you could, but not the evening after the child's death, not the month after, and you surely wouldn't be so stoic or joyful in the courtroom...would you?

Guilty

It doesn't matter to me what verdict the jury for Casey Anthony returned.

She is guilty.

In this country, the prosecution has to work really hard to prove somebody's guilt. I thought they did a solid job of providing evidence and connecting the dots. Their theory made sense: Casey wanted to party, she had a child that prevented the lifestyle she wanted from coming easily, and the lies she told and the means she used to make that lifestyle possible (leaving her with just about anyone and/or drugging her) would shortly be coming to an end because Caylee was beginning to talk.

The jury didn't agree.

We will never know what Casey did all day while she was away from home, at a job that never existed. We won't know why Cindy and George didn't ask more questions or expect more from Casey. We won't learn about Caylee's last moments of life. We won't get to find out just what made Casey snap that day, or if she really believes the lies she tells.

But what I do know is, Casey is now friendless and without a family. I think she will have a very tough time enjoying her freedom because who could truly love or trust her? She screwed over her friends, threw her family under the bus and damaged their character, and even hurt a complete stranger (go get her, Zenaida...) by accusing her of the unthinkable.

And, in my opinion, took the life of a beautiful, innocent child.

As her defense team gathered around her, hugging her and crying, I wondered if these people would now be her friends and family. Would you let her babysit your kids?

I admit, when the verdict was read, I got teary. I love the truth. And I can't stand it when the truth doesn't prevail. And I love justice. I really hoped for justice for Caylee. Not the death penalty, but jail time. Instead, someone got away with murder, and Thursday, that person will likely become a free -and wealthy- person who enjoys all the same liberties as you and I do. Fair?

Competent

If you've been watching the Casey Anthony trial, you probably have an opinion by now as to whether or not she is guilty. I've tried to watch the summaries in the evening and keep an open mind, only because I wanted to view the evidence presented to the jury to imagine what they were thinking. But, that is pretty hard to do when I've read (like so many have) just about everything that was released into State's evidence since day one, so I feel like I have the inside scoop that he jury lacks. (I still have such a hard time imagining that they found an impartial jury who hadn't heard much about the case...there is SO much out there.)

Some of the big evening debates on HLN cover whether or not Casey sustained sexual abuse by her father and brother, whether or not Caylee could have gotten into the pool herself, whether or not her parents are lying for her, and whether or not Roy Kronk had something more to do with the case than "just" finding Caylee's remains.

I feel like those points are moot. We can debate those all day long and likely, we'll never know the truth.

The truth is what stands out so clearly to me: a mother who loves her baby does not go on a date to rent movies the night that her child dies, whether accidentally drowned or otherwise. She doesn't enter a "hot body" contest four days later. She doesn't live it up and get tattoos and steal money and commit fraud. She doesn't make up elaborate lies about where the child is, or invent mysterious people to frame her stories.

Some people would look at that summary and say that Casey had lost it. I look at it and say that she was going for broke, doing whatever the heck she wanted to do, and certainly wasn't thinking about the future.

I know that people are quick to bust out the "mentally ill" card, but really? I know there are all kinds of menal illness...my mother was a clinician for over 40 years, and I've also known my fair share of imbalanced people. Heck, I've felt a little off balance at times. But to me, if you know the difference between right and wrong...if you know that something is wrong enough to hide it...you aren't crazy. You may be a selfish, sick piece of garbage, but you aren't crazy. And if you say you are, it's an insult to every person who is struggling with mental illness and ISN'T out partying the day after her child "disappears."

Three psychologists evaluated Casey this weekend and all came to the same conclusion: she is competent. I was not surprised that they found Casey competent, but I did think it was interesting that Britney Spears is still considered to be incompetent to testify in court, and she's been under conservatorship for years. But I still think she is better "behaved" than Casey and appears to be far less devious. Hmm.

I dont' feel that the Anthony's are especially disfunctional...from what I've seen, George and Cindy's only failure is raising a daughter who has no accountability. They certainly could not have ever imagined that a lack of discipline (and a ton of love) could have lead to this. They may have had glimpses that something was a little off with Casey...the lying, the instances where elements of her stories just didn't add up... But I think it's actually pretty common to try to overlook those red flags in the family and hope that everything will shake out. It's a phase. Things will get better. That kind of thing. They were not a disfunctional family. They were functioning. They are still trying to function, even after this incredible loss, even after this unbelieveable amount of stress.

They are now doing what humans do: adapting, surviving, trying.

Only a few days left for the Defense. What do you think will happen?