I Didn't Get A Part...

...but maybe I did get my foot in the door.

So, I auditioned for the show I mentioned the other week. It was my first audition in more than 20 years and I wasn't expecting a lead, but I hoped to get the experience of reading for a lead.

But that isn't how things work when you've got an experienced director with a strong personality and a sense for who he already wants to cast in the main roles. However, it's his show, and these auditions weren't about me getting a practice run at future audition attempts. So, I didn't even really have a chance to try, but that is OK.

Here is how it broke down:
Auditions were Sunday and Monday, and I opted for Monday because we were so busy this weekend. If I'd been smart and thought about it, I'd have gone on Sunday because it was clear to me that he had the two female leads picked out from that night's auditions. How do I know? Because there were about six ladies - including me - who showed up Monday night and none of us got to read for the lead roles.

So, I got there a little early, and had a nice chat with one of the producers, who turned out to be a board member for the theater association and I mentioned that even if I didn't get a role, I'd like to be on set crew or help out backstage. And I meant that...I'm really interested in getting involved.

I was the first to read, and it was for a small but significant role. The character is odd and kind of sets the tone for the production. And, the character requires an accent, according to the director's vision of her, which I know that I could not do unless I had practice time. There was no practice time nor was there a practice place. I didn't even attempt to do one when I read...I just read the character strong and stern as I heard her in my head in the way I envisioned her - just without the accent.

But the next woman who read for it was about 15 years older than I am and robust and loud and nailed the accent. I thought, "Check!"

Then the other side the director handed me I didn't get to read for because yet another robust woman with a loud voice and accent was called up first and killed it. I mean she IS that character, probably in her personal life, or else she is a damn fine actress who should be on Broadway. I mean, for a "cold read," she sounded more like she'd either played the part before or memorized the script and rehearsed it...and if she did, kudos to her! She was off the page and everything.

And with that, we were dismissed.

And then I got my, "thanks...so sorry, but..." email from the director a few hours later. And the aside that maybe some backstage opportunities would be available if I was interested. I replied and said I definitely was.

So, no part for me, BUT I am still happy I did it. Guts! I will try out again and I hope I get to contribute to this show somehow. This just wasn't my play. I'm not a character actor. I can act. I'm not like Shakespeare or Oscar quality or anything, but I can act. And there is a production out there for me. I just have to find it.

And meanwhile, maybe they can let me give them a hand on this show... I'll let you know!

I'm Gonna Try...

So, you know I’ve been having this kind of crisis where I know I need to get busy and be creative and do some of the things I enjoy doing before I fizzle out.

I dream about it, I think about it, I talk about it.

And now I am going to attempt to try to do something about it.

Long ago, in a land far away, I used to be an Honor Thespian. I was in talent shows and plays all the time in grade school and in high school, I was in every musical and student choreographed a few of them. I was in show choir. I was in flag corps (you may call it color guard in your neck of the woods) and was even captain my senior year. I still worked a part time job, but in my own time, I sang. I danced. I was on stage. I was busy and fulfilled and LOVED IT ALL.

And then I had to grow up super-fast, like you do when you graduate from high school and your dad decides to split a few days after you graduate, and your family has no money, and everyone is nuts and there is no fund for college but your mother (trying desperately to hold it together) insists that you go. So you work a couple (or three) jobs and you get busy. You dig in and you get shit done.

So…yeah…I got super-serious, super-fast. I also got sort of angry, but didn’t have time to deal with it. For the most part, it’s been all business ever since. (Until I met Steinvic, of course, and my life improved dramatically and I remembered a lot about having fun.)

When I was still in college and went back to my high school to student teach, my mentor said, “What happened to you? You were this friendly but shy girl who would turn five shades of red when I called on you in class. Now you’re so…grown up…” I understood that it wasn’t a criticism, but he was right. I had changed. I had changed in three years what it took a lot of people I know ten years to accomplish. And I did it the hard way.

Real life will do that to you.

But I am beginning to understand that I don’t have to let it.

I found a play that will be put on by a community theater and I’m interested in trying out. I know they have a stable of excellent regular players and that the chance I’ll get in is small…especially because the play doesn’t have a lot of roles, but I’m still going to try.

If I don’t make it, maybe they’ll let me work on the set crew or something.

But I’ll be around the kind of people I so enjoyed long ago.

Plus, Steinvic is probably going to be gone more than ever for a while, as someone in his Columbus office will be out, and they’ll need his presence more frequently. It totally sucks, but we’re still lucky that he is able to mostly work from here, so we can’t complain about it.

But, if he won’t be around anyway, I won’t feel like I’m taking time away from us, you know?

Auditions are in a little less than two weeks. I am hopeful that this is the start of something good!