Saturday, November 13, 2010

Bonus Post - The Value of an Apology

Extra post today because I realized I'd meant to tell you this and somehow, with everything going on, forgot.

Remember when I made Kicky Corn Chowder on Halloween? Well, we were kind of waiting to eat until the trick-or-treaters thinned out, so while that was cooking, we were watching TV and answering the door as the little cuties came by.

Around 7, I heard a knock and there, at our door, stood our neighbors.

The wife was right at the door with their tiny daughter and her husband stood back on the sidewalk. She didn't make eye contact but said, "Hi...I think you met my husband, but we didn't get to meet, and this is my daughter," and said both their names.

I was so surprised that I just did what instinct suggested and focused on the child. Then I shook the wife's hand and said, "Great to meet you..."

And then, from the sidewalk, the husband said, "And I'm really sorry about that. About the parking thing, and how I handled it."

Wow. That takes balls. I said, "It's okay. It's fine now." I meant it, and Steinvic feels the same way. Do I ever appreciate the sincerity of his apology and the courage it took to look me right in the face and fix what was broken.

Apologies, when they're heartfelt, really can fix everything. I am a forgiving person in most circumstances. When someone makes a true effort to right a wrong, and it's something as simple as a parking dispute, take the apology and dismiss the garbage. Life really is too short, and I'm reminded of that every day. Read the is over quite quickly.

This apology from my neighbor makes me think about the person who keeps anonymously commenting here, wanting to stir the pot about the "maid of honor" situation. I'm going to address it, even though I think it would be smarter to just keep deleting the comments. Because it is, after all, my blog, and yes: if someone is confrontational and misinformed, I'll delete it, just like I delete the spambot stuff and anything else that doesn't belong here. It's not your blog; it's mine.

If someone really knew the situation, including the details of my last conversation with our mutual friend, that person would not comment. Anyone in the know would understand that I am protecting myself and my family and would also acknowledge that I'm entitled to do that peacefully. In fact, the post this person keeps commenting on is one where I'm wishing our mutual friend well, so the snide comments make no sense at all.

When someone says certain, irreversible things to you, (and slurs their words after the cocktails they've downed before calling you,) you're entitled to create some distance from that person. And anyone who is really friends with this person has undoubtedly, unfortunately been on the receiving end of what I'm talking about, because sadly, she can be very angry and unhappy, and sometimes, as a result of this anger, lashes out. Honestly, it is the only thing about this person I can't live with. And so I won't. It hurts. And I'm grown and I don't have to listen to that kind of talk any longer.

So...if our mutual friend is really better off without having to "deal with my crap," then why comment? Put your energy into something positive, as I have, and relax. You're not accomplishing a thing by posting here, unless you need this crumb of attention to survive. I am sure that isn't the case...I believe you have a good life, full of promise and friends and family. I wish you well, too, and hope your new situation is better than where you've previously been. Be well.

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