Monday, February 15, 2010

All the Sex Addicts of the World Thank You...

I am guilty of something: throughout the day, between tasks, I read headlines. And sometimes, I read gossipy headlines. And sometimes, I don't just read the gossipy headlines...sometimes I read the articles, too. (GASP!) There you have it: I'm a little shallow on the recreational reading tip. Don't get me wrong - I read The Bible and Shakespeare. Sometimes I read nerdy science things, too...variety is good! But I sometimes read utter trash. Think of it as my brain's giant chocolate-covered, raspberry-filled donut break for the day - you know it's bad for you, but still...

So, when I read this stuff, I believe some stories a little, or a version of them, and some I dismiss as total crap. But the recent articles saying that Tiger Woods exclaimed - while in rehab attending group counseling for sexual addition - "I'm not a sex addict!" tickle me. Because that is what I'd been thinking, like so many others...that this is a PR inspired attempt to save his professional reputation among all the golf lovers and Gatorade drinkers in the world who don't think it's okay to have sex with a lot of different women than the one you're married to.

Sometimes, a person who does bad things isn't an addict. That person isn't flawed, wasn't potty trained incorrectly and isn't mentally ill.

Sometimes, people are simply big jerks and they do jerky, jerkful, jerkish things.

We may gasp and go, "Oh my goodness, how could he?!" but most of the time when that happens, we don't get it because we're not jerks. (And in turn, those jerks may not understand how I could put ketchup on my chicken when I was a kid, either, but I did it because that is how I liked it. )

So, sex addicts of the world, rejoice! Tiger doesn't want to be a member of your club. He is just using you and hanging out with you in hopes that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the fine ladies of the world he's had relations with will get it all out of their systems and that things will blow over soon.

...and then he learns that all the ladies are going to appear on Oprah for some kind of twisted comparing-notes-and-texts reunion...

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