Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Apologies, Countess...

I always admit when I'm wrong, and I usually apologize for my mistakes. So, Countess de Lusseps of The Real Housewives of New York City, I'm sorry.

I am sorry because when you decided a year ago that you could sing and released your first single, "Money Can't Buy You Class," I said that it was the worst professionally released song I'd heard in a long time.

I was wrong. The worst professionally released song I've heard in a long time is your NEW song, "Chic C'est La Vie."

The RHW shows used to be my guilty, mindless pleasure, but I don't even watch them any longer because I feel embarrassed as I'm watching. I also find myself thinking "Who cares?!" as the ladies think of ways to one-up each other or insult each other. That doesn't mean that I won't read recaps on Pretty on the Outside (awesome blogger) or on because I am admitedly, at times, a nosey bitch when it comes to people who put there lives out there on reality shows. (But not the Kardashians. I have zero interest in any of them and don't understand the appeal. I do like when SNL spoofs them, though.)

So, I was nosily rooting around on Bravo (can usually glean everything I want to know just by reading the titles of the blogs) and found that The Countess - even though she got super-panned for the first song - took it upon herself to release another song that is plenty worse.

If you don't believe me, listen here.

She apparently filmed a video, too, and it can't possibly suck more than her first one, but I don't think it's out yet.

I'm not a fabulous singer, and even if I had millions of dollars, I would still know that my singing should be limited to the car or karaoke when I'm drunk. Unless I got some serious vocal training and assistance for a long time and got lots of good feedback from professionals and peers, I would not be making an album.

I'll give the Countess props for not auto-tuning the crap out of her voice, but at the same time, I think the song would have been a lot better if she had!

She has a lovely, mellow, alto speaking voice, but it does not translate into a lovely, mellow sing-speaking voice. (She is kind of talk-singing here, folks...) She is hard on some words, has no rhythm, and doesn't even sound like she's having fun because she is trying too hard.

You know what she sounds like? Exactly like a pretentious, middle-aged, rich, white woman who...wait a minute...

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