Meeting Myself

So, this summer is my 20th High School reunion. I may not have given it a thought at all, but one of the guys who graduated in my class works with me and he's on the reunion committee. If I run into him at work, he asks me whether or not I plan to go.

I haven't gone to a single reunion in the last 20 years.

I'm "in touch" with what...three? Maybe four people from my graduating class and it's sporadic at best -

• one who lives in Texas, who I e-mail with very occasionally...like a couple times a year. I saw her in person about four years ago.


• one who moved here from Germany last year (long story, husband in the military, they split up, she came back home). Once she got settled, I stopped hearing from her, which is fine because honestly, she is kind of selfish and I somewhat dreaded dinners and evenings with her. (She actually blasted on my house for not being 'decorated enough.' And rolled her eyes when I explained why at that time, it wasn't.)


• the guy on the reunion committee who works here.


• maybe a couple others who I've seen around or who work here, and really have kind of a "hi-how-you-doing-that's-great-take-care" depth of conversation with.

A little more than five years ago, I reconnected with a few classmates and they ended up being just as petty as they'd been in high school. After, I heard some unpleasant gossip about myself through the grapevine and I just thought, waste of my time. Not even worth correcting.

I just realized that I'm making my former classmates sound like complete a-to-the-holes. Really, there are some people I would genuinely like to see. Some of my pals from the plays and musicals - like Kate. She just has to be famous by now! And Cendi and Jeff, who were so talented. And Sheryl, who lost her husband in 9-11...it would be great to see that she is finding her way. Some of my sistahs from Flag Corps - Chantelle...such a nutball and so much fun. Some odd little friends I knew from this or that class...Mark who used to doodle monsters on my paper when I had to go to the board in Algebra, and his sidekick Todd who would make faces that could make us all silent with laughter. But, I'm not sure that the people I'd like to see would even go.

Steinvic says he'll go with me if I really want to go. I think that is pretty sweet of him considering that he would know no one because he isn't from here. Really generous of him (though not surprising because that is how he is) and I appreciate it. I certainly wouldn't go without him.

And...if I'm being totally transparent, there is this little part of me that fears that in the faces of all these people from my past, I'll see what I used to see - no...feel what I used to feel - when I was so much younger. I wonder a little bit about what they would see in me. I've come a long way since high school. I've kind of moved on. I'm not sure I want to meet myself from 1989. That might be a little much.

I don't have to decide today, but when I get the "fill out your profile on the Class of 89 Web site!" reminders in my e-mail, I think about it a little. (I briefly consider filling out my profile and then remember that I have a wacko former spouse who has previously googled my name and used the search results as an excuse to get in touch.)

So, what about you? Would you go, or let sleeping dogs lie?