It's Friday again...how did this happen so quickly? Not that I'm complaining at all - Fridays mean seeing Steinvic!
So...what has happened this week? Oh, the "don't poop here" sign in front of my house seems to be working. And the HOA hasn't notified me that I need to take down my sign. I think I've gotten the message across, though, and will likely take it down when I get back on Sunday...
"Sunday?" you ask..."What about your normal Monday morning commute after a Columbus weekend?" Well, I am taking Steinvic to the airport tomorrow.
And that leads me to what is going on in my brain these days - Steinvic is going to Phoenix and I want to go, too!
Before you think I'm a childish, jealous twit...I don't want to go "just" to go. I want to go because of the real reason Steinvic is going - it's to see his cousin. His cousin, who is a very sweet man, and very special. This cousin has some disabilities and, because of this, has lived his whole life dealing with discomfort.
And because he has lived with discomfort and disabilities, it's likely that he didn't notice - or know how to articulate - when he started feeling worse. And because of that, no one knew until too late that he had developed cancer and a serious heart condition.
His time with us is limited, but the doctors aren't sure exactly how long he has. Steinvic and I agreed that now was the time to get back there and see him. We couldn't really afford for both of us to go, though...and so we decided that just Steinvic would go.
Ever since he booked his airfare, I've had this nagging sensation...you know, like the one you have when you've forgotten something important?
I should be there to support Steinvic. I should be there to see his cousin while he is still healthy enough to have fun. I should be there to hug his cousin's Mom and Dad who must be devastated.
I should be there to make my special bruchetta recipe, which his cousin LOVES. And quizzes me about, every time I visit. Every time I make it, he is right there, asking questions. He may ask the same question six times, but I never mind. He is lovely company. And very dear. And sincerely happy to have someone to chat with about cooking.
So, instead, I'm arming Steinvic with my recipe. And a jigsaw puzzle for his cousin, because his cousin told me that they're his favorite thing to do. And instructions to hug everyone for me.
And I'm praying that Steinvic truly isn't upset that I'm not going along this time. (He says he understands, but wow...do I feel like I'm letting him down.)
And I'm trying my best to keep smiling, because I know that is what everyone expects.
Sometimes, smiling sucks.