Monday, February 23, 2009

Not Your Toilet

I live in a townhouse and there are good and bad things about that.

Good is that I got a lot of house for not a whole lot of money.

Bad is having neighbors who suck on the one side of me (our walls are attached and I think they must have pet elephants), home owner's association fees to pay each month (which is complete BS on so many levels), no garage to park in...

...and a neighboring dog who thinks that my small patch of front yard is THE hot spot for pooping.

I know who this present-leaver is. I can identify the walker and the walkee. It's a little boy, probably about 11 or 12, and his dog...I don't know what breed of dog, but I do know that one of the characteristics of this breed is the ability to produce very smelly, human-sized turds.
The little boy has been friendly in the past and I've always said hello to him and his dog. Because of this, they sometimes linger around my house.

So, recently, the grass around my front stoop is this beast's favorite spot to unload, and apparently, his Master hasn't fully grasped the concept of being neighborly and picking up after his dog. (Of course, I blame this on a lack of training - a parent shouldn't even let a child with a dog leave the house unless he's armed with waste bags.)

Yesterday, Steinvic needed to go home (as opposed to the normal Monday morning commute) because he had to be to work reeeeeeeeeeeeeally early this morning. So, he headed out around 6:00 p.m. and I felt a little stir-crazy and decided to run up to Drug Mart. I was going to stick my head out the front door to see how cold it really was and before I even opened it, I could smell the stench that was lurking outside.
Sure enough, as I headed out to my car, I saw what I smelled - yet another pile left by The Dog.
When I got home, I poured a vodka + lemonade and created my sign. I know you can't see what it says, but you can probably make out the pile of poo with the slash-o over it.

It also says, "Stop letting your animal use my home as a toilet!"

I thought about how crazy it seemed to leave this sign - however's only the size of a postcard - and wondered if somehow, making this sign and actually posting it paves the way into eventual old-lady-spinster insanity and possessing multiple cats.

I pondered it for a moment this morning and decided that I'm confident that Steinvic will never let that happen. So, I left the sign up and came on in to work.

One of a few things will probably happen as a result -
1. The kid won't read the sign and since The Dog can't read, poop will continue.
2. Other people will be offended and encourage their dogs to go there.
3. The boy will be completely embarrassed, and it will never happen again.
Either way, I had to try something...we'll see what happens.

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