So, last night was the night - Messiest Home in the Country 3 - on Clean House. I've been doing my own, two-week-long episode of Clean House in preparation for our friends coming into town tonight, so my goal was to be finished cleaning up our place and on the couch by 9 p.m. (with a glass of wine) so I could take in all the "mayhem and foolishness" in peace. (I was still doing things on the commercials, but still...it's all done now!)
Steinvic knew I was excited about the show and he sent me a text just as the show began. He was watching a little, so I'm including some excerpts from our texting.
In the beginning, the Clean House Crew did the usual tour of the disaster area these two ladies called home. It's a mother and her daughter...the Mom is a police detective and the daughter is a 20 year-old college grad who just moved home.
S: Who's got clean house?
Me: Lordy...this might be worse than last year!
S: Cincy proud!
Me: WTF...these folks are effed!
S: It's a mess.
Me: I mean, therapy is needed...
S: But she doesn't seem to C a problem.
Me: And what the hell is that on the couch? A sh*t monster?
S: Don't know.
Me: Need more wine!
S: So did Niecy.
As you can see, these gals thought that they had no problem...they just needed to get rid of a few things. Um, NO. This place was floor to ceiling, basement to attic, room after room of piled up STUFF. You name it, they had it. And because food - that they "lost" in the rubble - was in some of the unpacked shopping bags that littered their home, they also had mice. Mice are gross for three reasons: they have lice, they carry diseases and they poop at random. Their washing machine was broken, so they did their laundry at a friend's house. Their dishwasher was busted and the sink leaked so the dishwasher and stove just served as glorified dish racks - they used cold water brought in from the bathroom to do the dishes (they had no hot water).
At some point, wouldn't you quit shopping and start saving up for a repair person? I'm just sayin'...
The basement had flooded at one point, so everything on the floor got wet, and they never did anything but let it drain out, so you know that was a major funk fest down there. So, during the yard sale - which, by the way, raised $17,000 for the Lymphoma Society:
Me: Right now I can't believe that people are going to buy this filth...
S: They did.
Me: Gross! Mice! Mold! Yuck!
S: Didn't C that. Saw some of the sale.
Me: Those btchz got to stay at The Cincinnatian!
Me: Ooo! Girl just got called an ungrateful ass by Niecy!
So, yeah. The daughter got mad at Niecy when she indicated that they couldn't possibly bring all the stuff in their "keep bins" back in the house. So, she stormed off and cursed at Niecy, saying "I don't have time for this bullsh*t right now." Seriously. After people have been cleaning up her crap for days, buying all new furnishings for their home, repairing the crack that had formed in their living room because of all the junk piled up in the attic, weeding through old food and mice, this chick is gonna curse and speed off. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
Like daughter like mother, Momma Mess got mad during the reveal when she couldn't see what had been done with her Grandmother's purses. I can understand that she was concerned, but she is so dramatic that she just storms off and leaves, with just her daughter there to see the rest of the reveal. More ungratefulness! (And, no matter what, do you really think that Clean House wants your mouse-poop-infested dusty old grandma purses, that I'm sure you didn't take care of? NO!)
All in all, it was worth watching, entertaining, and I'm sure I'll watch it again as it's replayed on Style. You should catch it if you can...and if the home in any way resembles your own, please...Call Niecy!