Friday, June 19, 2009

Happy Friday and Why HOAs Suck

Happy Friday and welcome to another episode of Why Our Homeowner's Association Sucks Big Time!

It's been a great week of getting things done in our house. If I haven't mentioned, the big pushes for house-freshening include our friends Em and Ay coming in two weeks AND, most importantly, Steinvic moving here. (Before you get too job leads for him yet, but I feel like getting the place prepared is a big sign to G*d and the Universe that we're both ready for it to happen. Now. Please!)

So, with the painting, fussing, dusting and cleaning of it all, imagine how frustrating it is to go in and out of the house each day to see the monstrosity pictured above!

When the tacky neighbors busted a move and abandoned the place a number of weeks back, I'd contacted the HOA about all the shenanigans. I also mentioned that the greenery outside was really out of control. The HOA chick said that the maintenance dudes were actively pruning and hedging, so it should be taken care of within two weeks. It's been three. I sent a follow up e-mail and she replied that she couldn't guarantee it would be taken care of this week. Not acceptable.
The problem with HOAs is that you have to pay them to live in your own home. The home that you own. Your house. You're paying an entity to be able to live there in the house that you purchased. On top of taxes. And the entity promises to take care of the grounds. And then they do it at their leisure. To their standards.
I'm not a slob. While I am a little obsesseive, (yes, I admit it, but I use my OCD for good, not evil), I think my standards are reasonable. I like things to have some order. And I like things to look nice. So, paying a HOA that has a different standard of "looking nice" than I have is extremely frustrating. Because if you math it all out, we're paying for someone to do a half-ass job of keeping our home. I have been a manager most of my life, and I sincerely try to shape mediocrity, and if that person is resistant, I fire them. That's business.
So, I'm ready to fire my HOA. I'm considering sending them a note and saying, forget my request. I've bought the equipment and it cost $50. I did the work myself and my rate is $100 per hour. It took two hours. So, we won't be paying you an HOA fee next month.
But I don't have the guts, because I know it would come back on us and we'd have to pay anyway. Sigh...
Enough of my rant. You tell me...does the shrub (that is now overgrown to the point where you can't see the kitchen window) look like @#$% or am I a picky b*tch?
I hope that you're happy and well, and that your own shrubs are trimmed (wait...Oh, never mind...) and that you're set for a fantastic weekend! And, if by some chance, one of the 301 hits to this site includes a lawyer who is up on association members' rights, feel free to chime in on the comments section below! Happy Friday!


Anonymous said...

The shrubbery is a bit unruly, somewhat akin to the hair and eyebrows of a 70s-era Dean Stockwell, circa the "cruise ship" episode of "Columbo" with Robert Vaughn.

Tangents & Tangles said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! That is awesome...